He wants to fuck
hard, without apologies
drive his heart
through
hers
and bruise
passion’s boring pose
of dimpled
poetry
until it collapses
into
something
he recognizes.
Author notes
Prompt: Raw Emotion
In a list
A contest entry
- Raw Emotion by x meerz.
500 points, ended July 28, 83 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Very raw and sensual...a very primal piece. I can feel the need and 'raw emotion' in this one, deffinately deserves the gold it recieved.
-Garrett
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i loved this..
i think you might get a thropy <3 -
Very visceral in its emotion...
this one gives true strength to all
that is left unsaid. Blue
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What's his name?
Will you give him my phone number?
Love,
Amera♥
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Well done - right on target, and phrased appositely.
Unlike ldc (next comment down) I don't see this as being (necessarily) a guy thing/girl thing difference, because I know that people want all shades of everything (and some that aren't) from their loving. I do see it as a wonderful and apt interpretation of the prompt.
It is so short that I can't pick a phrase or a word I like. For language, imagery and image-making, acuracy on target, everything, it is 100% Lane and damn good.
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Wow. This is really good stuff. I was a little surprised with the vulgar language that you were using right off the bat but by the time I had gotten to the end of it I could see how it was perfect for this. I think this really shows some of the major differences between guys and girls and the way that they handle things in general. I think it was raw and in your face and really really good.
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Totally Raw!
Excellent, raw emotion!
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it seems he doesn't know or cannot 'recognize' any other way to be.
this is very raw...
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My Lady
Yeh, well some assholes are like that.
Raw, indeed.
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yes, sometimes things are welcome and then other times not, when motives come into a raw and harsh focus...excellent ...PK
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Without apologies
He recognizes
These two lines really hit home in a world where we all try to conform to PC crap.
Beautifully written
John
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Oh yeah...jaw dropping good my dear Lane, all the best in the contest.
Love and peace always,
mj.
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Powerful opening.
So very true to Raw Emotion.
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Strikes hard! ... and yes without apologies.
There's no point in denying this aspect of passion in the male and it's great anyway. Yes, it wants satisfaction, but still, it is one limited aspect all the same.
Well done for allowing its place, which allows it all to be real.
You have done this very well here indeed!
Sol
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no beating around the bush
the "boring pose of dimpled poetry" ... damn right, bruise it.
Luvit.
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Very raw and hard hitting.
Not sure I'd recognise it when he does!
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This is really raw with emotion. You have captured your point right on and with such few words.
Great job with this.
Soulful Woman
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pure words needs never to say they are sorry ... emotions are nothing, but the human race's obsession with defining what they can never explain ...
like secretly blowing a kiss into the wind without the recipient knowing where it came from, why can't the now embrace the now for nothing ... but experience and the now ...
oh, and the best fucks are thoses that are taken slow, penetrating into minutes, years, weeks, a second that pours the drinks and smiles ... hoping tomorrow will never come ...
oh, sorry ... great spontaneous work ...
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oh my.... how full of bitterness!!!! Definitely raw. I like it
something I definitely can't do....so, I look up to you
~g'luck!
S.P.
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