Unfinished Thought

All of my life I've been trying to live around
    the edges of my heart -
Afraid to step even one toe into the abyss;
A myriad of colours mixing and pulsing,
    then separating and mixing again.
It's not like I'll fall into oblivion
And never come out.
And it's not like it's noticible,
This hesitation.  This fear.
It can hardly be called definite -
    this feeling it portrays -
Nor can it be called vague.
It's merely a question of reality
    and whether or not I'm there -
Like schizophrenia.
But not...
Indecision is THE deciding factor -
To 'live' or not to 'live' -
To smile or not to smile -
To 'breathe' or not to 'breathe'...
The rest of life is as insignificant
    as the smallest star in the sky -
Not worthy of my time nor my energy -
Barely visible to my naked eye.