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[ the last thing i expected ]

the last thing i expected
was that you would
cheet
you lied
you said you loved me
you made me belive
that you were true
but i was true

Author notes

30 words or less

A contest entry

any other topics i should try to wright about?

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Comments

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    July 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    'cheet' is spelled 'cheat'


  • aeolia
    July 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    cheet -- cheat
    belive -- believe

    This topic has been completely exhausted, but it does happen to some people, so I don't fault you for writing about it. For 30 words or less, it's okay; the diction is bland and you could benefit from learning some vocabulary and describing things via poetic devices instead of trite statements.

    -Cristina


  • XxForeverFaithfulxX
    July 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very powerful!

    I love this! Even for a 26 word poem this has a lot of emotion in it and I absolutely love it!! You have a lot of talent and I hope you win the contest!! Keep it up!^_^