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Jehovah's nightmare

"This little soul’s impatient” said the midwife at Dean’s birth,
when he arrived at seven months upon this planet earth.
Despite his small beginnings, (he only weighed four pounds),
He soon began to gain some weight and made some joyous sounds.
Time elapsed he started school a small but  normal child,
he often got bullied ,then he was so meek and mild. .

Time went by then one autumn day, Dean came home from school..
Though normally energetic and quite healthy as a rule.
He looked so pale and felt so weak his parents were alarmed.
They asked him what he’d had to eat to see how he’d been harmed..
They took him to a doctor,who listened to his chest,
then sent him to the hospital for a routine blood test.

The test proved to be positive, and Dean was found a bed,
he needed to have blood transfused so the consultant said,
but Paul his dad, looked at June and said, “no way will I agree
we’re both Jehovah’s Witnesses it’s against our faith you see."
The doctor shugged his shoulders and said in his reply,
“by refusing Dean  this blood you will sentence him to die".

June just couldn’t sleep that night,turned it over in her mind,
A more difficult dilemma would be very hard to find..
Poor Dean lay there in limbo, growing weaker by the day,
the doctor did  all he could but his life just ebbed away.
On  sunday  they made their way, coming back from prayer,
and passed the graves of infants, a sight so hard to bear,

and then June just burst into tears “how can God deny him blood
I’m going to sign that paper, and I think YOU certainly should".
They went on to the hospital, up to the ward to sign,
June was first to write her name,down on the dotted line
A meaning look at Paul, who followed suite, amidst some hearty cheers,
The nurses all just jumped for joy, at the end of all their fears.

Dean has fully recovered, and thankfully won't know,
how his young life, hung by a thread, really touch and go.
To most: dogma guided principles can be a dangerous foe.
A  bit of nature’s common sense, is all you need to show.








Author notes

JUDMC Option no.4

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 23 of 23
  • baghdaelf
    June 22

    Edit | Reply
    Very intense. Thank you for sharing. I know this is a tough situation for so many people. Thank you for entering and good luck!


  • Angelo di Luce gold member
    November 27, 2008
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    I am pleased to of read you dear sir
    You write wonderfully, though I personally would not accept another persons blood not because of religious influence but because I hate something that is not mine, besides there is Plasma available that does the same job and faster with positive results
    I really enjoyed your write


  • KyleBerg gold member
    October 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm.. I found this poem frustrating & upsetting, and eventually uplifting... but not annoying (assuming by your AN you mean option 4 of my contest). It was very well written with practically flawless rhyme. I thought the story was told brilliantly. I like it that, in the end, human morality and love won out over what many would view as irrational beliefs.

    Thanks for entering,
    Best of luck in my contest and all the other ones too.


  • Symphony
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed reading this; not because it 'showed up' the followers of Jehovah's Witness or anything like that, but because of the moral struggle described within its entirety. It reminded me of the decision that Casey Affleck is forced to make in "Gone Baby Gone" - trying to make the 'right' one is never easy!

    And then, sadly, I read the comments left by people - and truly, can they not read and comment without slanging insults, or offending thoughts against others' religions. We're all different; and if we choose to follow a faith, or not follow a faith, so be it - why preach and shove and try to force people to change their minds instead of just letting them be. Some of those commentators really annoyed me! >.<

    But, a great, well structered write


  • Edna Sweetlove
    September 4, 2008

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    Very amusing doggerel. Personally I think that Jehovah's Witnesses are nearly as stupid as evangelical bible-slurping Christians.


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    August 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very interesting topic to write about. You have done a brilliant job of conveying and important yet contraversial message. Well done, best to you


  • Peteskid gold member
    August 20, 2008

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    A narrative here with deep implications for beliefs that restrict access to medical science. A very straight forward presentation. Thank you for your fine entry into the contest and best of luck in the judging...PK


  • Age of Rain
    July 31, 2008

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    This has won silver in another contest, so it cannot place in this one. It was very good though! Controversial and powerfully writ. Best of luck in your other contests.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    July 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I find it sad that people feel they must write about things without really then giving a full picture. You have only shown one side of the story here. And it shows a lack of insight into what Jehovah's Witnesses believe and why they do. It's easy to attack a religion, but unless you know indepth the reasons behind a belief.. I think it's better opinions are kept to themselves. Found this rather defamatory and wonder if you have actually studied the faith.

    • judmc
      July 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      kiwigirl jacks

      Re "Jehovah's nightmare. Out of the 140 poems I have posted since last christmas you have chosen to pick on
      this one.There is not one of my poems that could not be read by or to children.Over many years I have been placated on a regular basis in the street and at my door
      by these "Witnesses".I have read their books and pamphlets
      "The Watch Tower etc.I am against all organised religions
      as you would know if you took the trouble to read some of my other poems.My poem is a true reflection of accounts
      published in british newspapers over the years.
      If the truth is defamatory then so be it.I respect your
      opinion please respect mine.George ++++

  • She Stole My Voice
    July 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Honestly, I wasn't looking for stories.
    Thank you for entering.
    :]
    ♥


    ~Princess of Shadows~

  • Lady Mak
    July 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Blood Transfusions and Jehovah's Witnesses
    We only have the safe types of tranfusions the kind that do not carry diseases. With so much Aids and hepatitis about, you do have to be careful as there is no known cure for Aids..

    We like to have the best and safest treatments available. Your poem suggest that perhaps you do not know about these safer transfusions that carry no risk of disease and are administerd in most hospitals and are blood free.

    1) Saline Solution.
    2) Dextran
    3) Haemaccel
    4) lactated Ringer's Solution.
    5) Hetastarch. (HES)
    can be safely recommended for burns patients.
    6) EPO. (erythropoitin)

    We also have Hypotensive anesthesia, Desmospressin, and Laser Scalpels.

    I do feel that if you a writing a poem like this one you should present the information correctly.

    • judmc
      July 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Lady Mac

      May I first offer my condolences(however belated)on the tragic death of your 26 year old daughter,it must have been
      dreadful for you.I was Lucky, my prostate cancer was diagnosed early thanks to our National health Service.
      (My daughter is a nurse).
      re: "Jehovah's Nightmare I am afraid you completely mistook
      the whole meaning of the poem which has nothing to do with
      the advance of medical science.It is of a couple who were
      confronted by the prospect of allowing their son to die
      by bowing to the dogma of a self appointed religious sect
      or allowing the doctors to scientificly cure him.The purity
      (or otherwise)of the blood does not come into the equasion.
      I hope you understand.One day you will meet your daughter
      again,whole and unafflicted by the earthbound diseases of
      man.Read my "Twilight" poem then you will know where I'm
      coming from.I hope in some small way it may offer a little
      solace in this trying time for you.Best Wishes and Kindest Regards George ++++

  • CoreyND
    July 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very well written i liked this poem its touching how the mother decides to go against her beliefs to save the child. im not sure if this was written before or after he/she entered this. my first contest so yea >.> good luck =)


  • Luckintheshadows
    July 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is why I'm not a particularly religious person. However, I really enjoyed reading this, it flowed and rhymed well, and had the feel of a aesops fables...with their little lessons of wisdom.

    Thank you so much for sharing this, and for taking the time to enter my contest,

    Luck.

  • Michael P gold member
    July 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You can blame it on Dogma if that makes you feel better but really its about what we each believe. Many, when regarding religion, like to call these beliefs- 'faith' yet , if circumstances result in a changing of ones previous directions the, ’faithful’ course, if you will, than what was once thought to be 'faith' is, more properly, regulated to a thing known as hope. You see, faith is a full cup--a little faith that's merely a lot of hope-much like 'truth'-a little truth well that's just leaves a lot of lies. I wonder, as you move on with your lives, if you will be able to perhaps, find a faith that will be more pliable to any or all future mitigating circumstances? Just so you know, I am not a Jehovah's witness; in fact they, like others, might even consider me just another basic pagan. I do however have a strong/full sense of faith and it may come about that, one day, temptations may overcome me; testing my faith. If I, in so striving, do actually fail, well then; there are two things that will stand out, each one will be hard for me to deny. Firstly, I did not have any faith to begin with (because I had doubts and doubts seek hope). Secondly, and just as importantly, I will have nobody else upon which I can place scorns and outrages (those) concerning my previously beliefs. Much like the spotlight with which you chose to shine on the Witnesses’ religion with this story. You see again, faith like truth is a full cup and without it you really have no one else to blame but yourself.-but it made for a good story. There are many religions out there that would use this story as an exemplary statement, I have faith you will find one that offers a tighter fit for faiths. If not well you can always move onwards.peace

    • judmc
      July 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Michael P

      In reply to your patronising sermon.For 83years people
      like you have regaled me with "You see" and gone on to explain the virtues of some organised religion which has caused endless wars or has been used by politicians to start one like mr. Bush a "full cup" christian who spends his time naming "Evil" countries telling a pack of lies
      then murdering half the population to get the oil using
      illegal weaoons.The poeple of Ireland have been at each other's throats for a century or more over two
      organised religions being used by politicians for their own
      purposes.Religion practiced by individuals in the privacy of their own homes interpreting the bible in their own way
      is no bad thing.since this is the only poem of mine you have read may I suggest that you read some of my 134 poems
      as you seem to want to know what makes me tick.
      Best Wishes George


  • PoetryDove
    July 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this write. It's on a touchy subject and half way in the poem I thought the story was going to end up with little Dean dying. I'm glad that was not the case, even if it is just a poem
    I liked how it ended on a happy note!

    There are some things that didn't look too right to me. For example, on the 3rd stanza there's a period before the word "but" in the 3rd line of it. You might want to fix that. It's nothing big, though.

    Some of the rhyming seems forced, but you can change that easily. In some of the parts, you can just add or subtract words to make the flow better.
    Do what you'd like with it, it is your poem.

    My favorite stanza is definitely the 5th one.
    "and then June just burst into tears “how can God deny him blood
    I’m going to sign that paper, and I think YOU certainly should".
    They went on to the hospital, up to the ward to sign,
    June was first to write her name,down on the dotted line
    A meaning look at Paul, who followed suite, amidst some hearty cheers,
    The nurses all just jumped for joy, at the end of all their fears."

    I liked how common sense finally came into the picture.

    You wrote a great poem!

    Thanks so much for entering my contest.
    Sincerely,
    dovey ~

    • judmc
      July 9, 2008

      Edit | Reply

      Poetrydove

      Many thanks for your kind appreciation of Jehovah's Nightmare" I have conformed to your suggestions.Glad you liked it.Best Wishes George ++++


  • pattyann4500
    July 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sometimes common sense is in a person's prayers. A touching and loving story with a beautiful ending. Thank you for leading me to it. Patricia


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    July 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    isn't this poem a "pre-write"

    and aren't "pre-writes not allowed" in this contest?!!?


    • Lyndon gold member
      July 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Hi, Rose.

      Yes, you are correct. This was entered before I had placed a limit to rewrites in this contest. As it was my error, I had to allow this one!
      Tell your friend to enter it as a copied poem with title changed, if what you say is honestly true and I have no reason to doubt you. I think that will work. But there will be no other exceptions!

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