A Bi-Polar Schizophrenic's Story Part 2

It's nearly 12 noon now, and they have been awake for an hour.
It's Disdain's reign at the moment. She's taunting me about my weight,
apparently I'm so overweight I should just die for my sins. Eating is a sin to her, she says I don't deserve to eat until I'm 9 stone. I'm eleven stone 8.5 pounds now. Even when I picked up an apple, she said no. "You can't have anything, you fat, disgusting creature." Maybe she's right, maybe I shouldn't eat. Only thin people can eat. I need to exercise for three hours tonight. That's an order not an option. Her mental lashings are too much to bear sometimes.

I had to give into Temptation today. She made me hurt myself. I had no choice it was me or someone at work. I can't lose face at work. I'm not normal but I have to pretend that I am. Paranoia is screaming loud and clear "They all think you are a slut, you're fat and ugly, they hate you," everyone hates me. Or so I am told. I daren't question Paranoia, he will threaten me with Fury and Disdain. They make me sick with fear. That's when Fear wakes up. He tells the others to leave me alone but they never do. They hound me and grind at my mind. They barely ever leave me alone. Except when I'm not alone. Only Fury and Paranoia dare to talk to me when I have my friends around me.

Sometimes I just want to bash in my head just to shut them all up, forever. But that's what they want me to do. They said everyone will cheer when I'm dead, no one cares about me they say.I know they are not telling the truth, but I daren't answer back in case they get mad at me. They live off of me and if i'm gone so are they. I am their host and they live in my head. They tell me they like it there, it's warm and cozy.
I never get a chance to say anything. If I do it's like they never heard me, or they are just ignoring that I exist. Sometimes they don't speak to me, just about me, then when I try to intervene, I don't exist.

I wish it wuld all just go away, that they would just die, before I do...