Distant city walls whisper...
of my lover lost
to night's temptress
[scarlet seduction]
In loneliness
I lay upon
harsh rocks of reality
Black water beckons
my shattered soul
[heart's destruction]
Author notes
Prompt: Pic (options 1) found at photobucket
30 words
In a list
A contest entry
- 10/30/30 Quickie by Sweet Impatience.
770 points, ended July 4, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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Great metaphor, effective use of brackets, imagery and emotion.
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I think this is exactly what is going through her mind in the picture. humm... I don't think I'd lay on those rocks in that dress.
Love,
Amera♥
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Very well flowing piece, with great emphasis to detail. That is such a deep image, and you did so well in giving it voice. Great write!!!
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Just so sad and dark..wonderful metaphors...Congrats on the silver...
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crazy good!
very nice! i totally saw your direction here. awesome job.
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! Wow! "In loneliness I lay upon harsh rocks of reality" "[heart's destruction]" You have really painted a picture with this one hun! Sad and still full of imagery. Congrats on the Silver! ♥
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This was so romantically sad! A hard combination to do but I think you nailed it! Great write!
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Excellent....you did a great job of putting the picture in words in a very real manner...great write and congratulations on the silver...
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woah.
the lasts three stanzas im def. in love with.
this is beautiful.
congrats on the silver!
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Congrats on the silver!
Such a sorrow filled write hunni, the emptiness and loneliness screams so loudly. Beautifully penned. Congrats on the silver
Your muse is playing games me thinks 
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Seems this pic was meant for your words instead of the other way around
Your talent is truly amazing my friend, wonderful words fall from your pen again!! Congrats on the silver.
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Thank you hun.. you're always so kind!
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So beautiful and sweet, sad too. You can just always capture the essense of romance, no matter how you do it. (How do you do it anyway?)
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What a wonderful penned work. Lovers tempted, while the loneliness greet the soul. Dark water may get the life so frail. The content evokes strong emotion from the reader to help find the lost love and save her wounded heart.
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A great interpretation on the prompt, sad, dark and SO you
Congratulations on the silver...well deserved
Sue
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JEEZ!
I don't know how you continually write sad dark pieces , and I continually am amazed as if I don't expect, but you do! and in turn..I DO!
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This is such a great write Jacks, and congratulations on winning the silver trophy. The imagery in this was outstanding and it goes so perfectly with this picture. well done.
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An excellent write! The picture fits so well with your words, but you have given it meaning far beyond that. Beautful in its sadness. Intoxicating write!
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Yay silver hun, well done!
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Thank you hun! I'm shocked as didn't think my muse was working.. lol..
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Congrats on your well-deserved Silver!! (:
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wow sis, your muse came to life for this one..I LOVE IT
and am sure you will do well
Cind
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Ohhhh I love this one so much.. Me thinks that your muse is working quite well in this poem.. perhaps you have a picky muse, only writes when it sees fit..
such a sad emotion filled poem, one that I can relate to in many ways.. which is sad too..
excellent job with the poem. your take on the prompt was excellent also.
good luck
kat
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Loved this, see the massage didn't take it all away lol Love, C
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Oooo...so um Jacks...You don't plan on going do you? *puppy eyes* Don't leave me!!!!!!! This is great because it sounds so real. I wish you luck!
~Kystal Angel
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Night's temptress! Love that...the night makes us do odd things (like stay up and watch The Matrix...heh, did that).
I think this poem perfectly conveys the weird things people do when they're feeling particularly nocturnal perfectly...the destruction is made apparent...kick-ass, and good luck Jacks (:
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geeperrrrrsssssss
you write the darkness so wonderful!!
so, wicked
LOVE LOVE LOVED it!!!!
Black water beckons
my shattered soul>>>>>so sad, foreboding and chilling....I feel like I can hear the wave crashing, calling to her.....scary!!
you've done wonderfully!
you'll do well in this contest!!!!
~
S.P.
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holy cow .... what a great write now i know ive lost to you as always.... i just love your work..... hugs.... miss ya.... thanks for sharing this and good luck in this contest im sure youve won it....!
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Okay, I do believe we have the gold-trophy winner right here... At least it wuld be if this were my contest I love your word-choices... Utterly sublime! Well done, and much love x
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Damn...
This picture is popular, but everyone has found something different in it. Your's is truly the one to beat, it's excellent....
Well done and good luck in the contest!
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