A Letter to You

Hello You,

Do you remember me?
I'm the girl you adopted, when I was just three
             
Got so damn much I want to say to you,
So many questions I wanted answered too..

Why? How could you? Did you ever care?
Was the love ever really there?.

                  I wasn't yours at birth , but you took me in, you were supposed to care.
                  I loved having a Dad those first few years, until I was six.
              It was great. One big happy family
                  Why did you choose that night?
                  I used to think it was something I did...but it was never me

                  Did you know how much you were hurting me that night, when you were touching me,
                  Raping me... I didnt know then what was happening. I just knew it hurt
                  Then you said not to tell anyone, "Our Secret" you said,
What a wonderful god damn secret.
                  Would it have been different if I was your REAL daughter? ...If I had've been blood, maybe it wouldve been different

                  For 5 years I had to endure you, Doing whatever you wanted,
I stopped calling you dad after a while.
Did you notice?


                  I'm 27 now you know, cant have kids  of my own..
                  Thanks to You
                  I been through alot in my life since that night, Nothing ever makes it right

                  I'm an alcoholic you know, I remember you were too
                  I'm an addict too , See sometimes it helps, Blocks you and everything you did out..

                  Did you ever wonder what happened to me?
                  In case you did you oughta know I'm a bit of screw up

                  An alcoholic drug addict with many scars from the past but you know...with everything I've been through,
                  With all the scars I bear, The ones you gave me are the worst. They hurt the most too,
                  and you and what you did to me are the one memory the drugs and drink dont ever fully block out.

                  So I'm trying to get my life together, I guess thats why I wrote you this,
Let you know what you did
                  When you raped me that night.. I was 6 years old You ruined my life.... but I'm trying to get better now
                  Been a long way to happy ...Thanks to You, but slowly I think I'll make it.. maybe.

Anyway this is the last you'll ever hear from me...

                  Just to let you know, I'm a fuck up, a god damn mess ...Thanks to You, but its ok , I'm trying and maybe someday the scars will get bearable
                  They'll never fully heal .. but I suppose you dont care.. I dont even know if you read this but if you did maybe now you know what you did to me
                  One last question though.....

Would it have been different if I was your REAL daughter, or would you have done it anyway?



From,
The Little Girl You Killed All Those Years Ago