kind sir
your woods have found me
they have turned aside the white
my eyes are old rosaries
gagging on the dark and secret
the sweat beads clicking
like the living
slippery
yet unborn
i had red in my body
but none in my head
kind sir
cease your awful rowing
come
find me
instead
i have waited for you
on page 232
like briar rose
beautiful and dead
and though you are not
her
your songs dig at me
like that little stringbean
tickling the apple
at the back of my throat
damn that boat
it owns you
like sunday and the sea
and i with a mouth
like monday
am left heavy as a purse
for the things
that cannot be
kind sir
i swear to you
jesus will wait
he has lots of better things
to do
children to rape
women to hate
men to cut and re-glue
(must he
also
have you)
don’t you know
kind sir
you are all i have
of her words
her amens
god has swallowed her
and she lives in his belly
for he was so lonely
and sir
i fear he is hungry
again
he wants to chew you
from foot to eye
and root for the bits
lodged in that last sigh
but kind sir
i promise you this
tonight the shore
will call you no more
i will hold all the wedges
your rich red heart
your spit
your lungs
your wooly head
i will be your holy cigarette
inhaled
before the smoke of bed
for your woods
kind sir
have found me
your grapes and vines
have turned aside the white
for you are still singing
&
i no longer
fear the rowing
towards god
those stars
this night
*
Author notes
For Just Rob...you remind me of her songs...
Please see Rob's incredible and indelible response: http://allpoetry.com/poem/4400473
Trust me...the man can write.
A contest entry
- paint brush by MuddyKing.
1000 points, ended July 14, 2008, 3 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Paint Brush II by MuddyKing.
1000 points, ended July 14, 2008, 1 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Oh My. and so can you...
this is wonderful, I hadn't seen it before and now I am still rolling in the richness of the images, resonant and dark, sad, like the woods in Rosetti's Goblin Market almost, but particularly your own, and with recognition of a common place, where poets, separated by space and time, are still together somehow in an enchanted realm.
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i really enjoyed that this didn't conform to any sort of rhyme pattern but had parts that did rhyme, it sort of lifts the parts that rhyme and brings them to the readers attention.
full of longing and sadness, i feel quite heavy after reading it but i enjoyed itlike i do with most of the stuff you write and even though i feel like a lot of the metaphors are very personal and i don't really understand them fully they are effective all the same. -
Good job.
I enjoyed this.
My favorite part is this
below
VVVVVVVVV
"i had red in my body
but none in my head"
This is wonderful.
<3Kelsea
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I really enjoyed reading this piece. I found solemnity when I read it like it put me at peace and calmed my soul. I really enjoyed the sense of loss and longing that allowed for such a connection to this piece. It makes me feel like someone is surrendering but on their own terms you know... not blindly giving themselves up but knowingly going with this kind sir to wherever he is rowing...
Anywho... I really liked this and cannot wait to see more. I almost want to put it to music because it reads like a song. -
this is wonderful. it reads like a song. like a joanna newsom song, in fact.
-
Lovely, it made me think of someone who has lost their love one , either in death or to another. Sad, but days go on even in heartache. Well expressed thanks for sharing
-
we're all swallowed
unless spit
swirl in and out
spunked and stunt
the sound
of swollen eyes and cracked limbs
outgrown with flesh and myth
-
Holy...
must meditate...
-
-
Tee hee. I hoped you liked...
-
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The irony of the woods' obscurity being the finder is very engaging & a charming sentiment.
"i no longer
fear the rowing
towards god
those stars
this night"
I really enjoyed the surrendering wave of this piece.
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This is just stunning. Loved the metaphor and images you have painted in this...will look forward to the brush
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so Rob is doing the response poem...damn I envy him and feel a bit sorry for him at the same time
just from the first read this says so much, I can't wait to give this more attention later...psssst...with my son and grandson all weekend...will be back to it Sunday
love it
peace and hugs
Muddy
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Sniff.
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jaw-dropping !
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You are both utterly fabulous; this is no exception from your brilliance
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"your songs digs at me" -- songs dig/song digs?
completely excellent otherwise.
-cristina
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Ah...me thanks for the keen eye you possess, lass. I had changed some things, so I forgot about changing that part to suit. lol
Thanks again for your praise and sharpness.
-
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