Over the leaning fieldstone walls
Night comes on as darkness closes,
Then heard each dusk odd rasping calls,
Near these reeds and wild dead roses.
Galloping hooves hard by this fen,
There just below the tree lined ridge,
Shunned after dark by living men,
He rides across the covered bridge.
He seeks for her who is no more.
She died when still this bridge was young,
His fey and fickle paramour
Who caution to the four winds flung.
None scarce recall her cause of death,
All know her lover was twice sad,
Before he drew his final breath,
Her loss had made him raving mad.
So now at night beside these walls
The abbey’s bells begin to chime
And through the night he rides and calls
From Vespers through the dawn at Prime.
Author notes
The canonical hour Vespers begins at sunset, Prime begins at 6AM.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
This was fabulous, I love the picture that you painted here. It was a romantic, tragic tale! I really enjoyed reading this. Another great piece.
-
poor Michaella, she is obviously out of her depth here and doesn't understand fabulous poetry when it is so evident for all to see. She could learn from you if she gave herself a chance...
I thought it was eerily beautiful xx
-
unlike some i have but one humble observation to make....this, like all your other poems is perfectly wonderful!
-
Just read the comment by Michaella and smiled really a sly smile.
lol 
I love everything about your poem and especially the dead roses because that is rich in metaphorical meaning and helps the rhythm of the poem stay in place. 
As always, I become the female in the poem (in my mind, duh) and I like what you did with her and especially at the end when the hero goes raving mad. Maybe she died in childbirth, giving birth to his baby. 
Now it is very sad, indeed. 
I love your poem... you can tell. 
-
1. a really good poem. it stands out to me.
2. you made a mistake in the first line, its field-stone or field stone, spelling error if together
3. i dont think the dead was necessary in front of roses as it makes it quite a negative image
4. i like the second stanza its great
5. 'She died when still this bridge was young' its abit long and interrupts the pattern for me, but good rhyming in that stanza
6. nice 4th stanza
7.GREAT ending, really the ending is definitely the best part of this. I like solid endings, good job.
'So now at night beside these walls
The abbey’s bells begin to chime
And through the night he rides and calls
From Vespers through the dawn at Prime' -
everything about this poem was brilliant !! it was another story ready to be told ! mysterious, dark, and wonderful ! flows well and the rhyming was spot on ! bravo
. Rewarded 4
-
Deliciously dark, perfectly flowed and rhymed (of course!). It definitely tickles the right spots, great stuff.
. Rewarded 4
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
