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Aborted souls

Like airborne embers, tiny points of light swirl,
rotating, pulsing, drawing ever closer to home.
It stinks like a rat infested tomb now, so cold,
no nourishment, nothing but the empty shell,
whose decomposing bloody walls have collapsed.

Tiny whispers, crying for what might have been,
give way to moans of lament, such loneliness!
Rejected, but in death they have returned,
only to find that mummy has left for good,
never again to love them; she has no heart!

Author notes

Picture credit: Google images

I hope that this rather disturbing write is the sort of thing you are looking for, and that my grammer etc is ok....
Of course, I have had to assume to corpse to be female. Poetic license.

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • crivanea
    August 5

    Edit | Reply
    disturbing write..kinda reminds me that the new mummy is out...gonna go watch it now that ur poem reminded me.. ...keep penning

  • crivanea
    August 5

    Edit | Reply
    disturbing write..kinda reminds me that the new mummy is out...gonna go watch it now that ur poem reminded me.. ...keep penning
  • BuffSMGfan3
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    One of my friends actually told me to check you out on here shydreamer3. Shes not so much a friend as a favorite as you will soon be. Your work so far is brilliant i loved it. I'm not very good at poetry myself, but I love to come on this site and see refreshing work like this absolutely spectacular. I have a way of reading good poetry more then I have a way of writing it. Its a gift I guess lol. Keep up the great write and I will keep on checking out your poetry. ........: at yourself on the back::

  • paullallady silver member
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    You have such a talent for using very powerful words to portray powerful imagery and emotion. It is terrific, and I enjoyed it very much. I definately
    see why it won a silver trophy. Congratulations
    on the trophy!
  • This is a rather sad piece but it was a great read you took the image and gave it your on personal touch it did leave me heart heavy though life should never be wasted thank for sharing congrats on silver much love alwyas

    . Rewarded 4

  • this was well penned but i found it just wasnt for me. i thank you for sharing this piece and keep up the good work

    • Dreamana
      July 4
      Edit | Reply
      It is not an easy read, and I know that for some, like yourself, it will not hit the mark. TY for reading anyway. Not all my writes are dark though.
  • This reminds me of the Jewish mystical concept of the Guf or body of souls. They are born into the world from where they wait in heaven, so what happens to them when their mortal bodies are denied to them? Your poem makes these souls more tormented even than the wretched spirits wandering between life in this world and the next. Sometimes we cry in our angst that it would better for us had we never been born. Your words suggest otherwise.
    You describe the heartless corpse who rejects and refuses to these innocents the warmth of the womb and corporeal existence. Unspoken is the fate of the mummy barren of heart and barren of souls.

  • Dark, Brilliant. Seeps into the mind. Good luck in the contest my friend.

    Dark
    Wishes
    Wayne Leon

  • Definitely dark. You really wrote a lot into this. As always I am amazed by your talent.

  • Frightening

    I love where you took the reader.
    Very nice poem


    wolf

1 - 11 of 11