As one does walk through the night,
in a forest filled with memory.
A quiet moonlight slips,
over the rose-red petals
that have fallen from above.
An aurora of misery and evil
does hang about the air.
The woods get darker
and the night grows Arctic.
Trees turn to ashes
and the world starts to spin.
Perceptions plummet beyond,
the darkest depths we know.
Perceivable notions are gone;
all you can do is run.
Sprint, flee, fly, go, race.
Think of different words.
Keep your mind working.
Don't die yet!
The light is there somewhere.
You saw it before.
Wouldn't it have been smarter
to just turn back around?
What made you think,
that you'd make it out.
Especially from the other side!
Oh beautiful irony,
you I must escape.
Overwhelming madness,
words aren't coming now.
The best part of it all,
I'm never leaving.
{But neither are you!}
Author notes
Pic Inspiration -> http://wywiur.deviantart.com/art/Dark-way-into-the-light-26099601
Well, I have another poem based on this picture. It's called Mock Hope For Tomorrow. Anyway, when I wrote this I was thinking about how that forest picture was so different. I could just picture it closing in on someone and never letting them leave. Suffocating their sanity. Enjoy the story! Not much to this really.
A contest entry
- Come Join The Dark Side by BeautifulXxDisaster.
1376 points, ended July 17, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comment honestly please. But don't be rude. CONSTRUCTIVE CRISTISM is welcome. But don't bash me; I work hard.
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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You like the forest imagery I see.
"Quiet moonlight" is a good phrase. Better than 'silent' which would have been a complete cliche. Oooh 'aurora' nice word. 'Perceptions plummet' I like the alliteration. "The light is there somewhere" Hmm. Generally (in my opinion) when presenting and image, we are supposed to be presenting it precisely not vaguely. I mean 'somewhere' doesn't really leave us with a crisp image does it? Just a thought. 'Oh beautiful irony' Phrases "oh, woe" etc. aren't really that great unless they are in an epic of some sort. Its like, you switched from english to old english and inverted the grammar. 'you I must escape'. I would suggest reworking that bit. Also, the ending in brackets thing, I don't know if that worked right. But, again, you have some good ideas and images here!
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Another facet of the picture brought forth another great poem. ^.^
The only two spellings that stood out for me were lines 3 and 20: quite->quiet and it->is. Other than that, however...this poem reaks of awesomeness. ^_^ Some of your word choices were really good as well; you caught me with words like aurora, and the whole perception-dark depth-percievable notion part. ^-^
And I agree that the ending is stunningly unexpected and really well-written.
Awesome job!
--Flare
o}--{=======>
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Yep. This was the contest poem.
Oops. Thanks for telling me. I totally missed that. I wasn't wearing my glasses or contacts when I did this soo I couldn't really see. (Not smart. I know.
) Thanks. 
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Cool! I'm sure you'll do well. ^.^
Not a problem! (And it's a matter of coincidence, not a measure of intelligence. So you're still smart,
.)
You're welcome.
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We shall see. If not that's cool too.
(Eh, it's both. I could've just grabbed my glasses, but I didn't want to get up and forget the poem. Aw. Thanks. So are you. No one else caught my spelling errors.)
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(Yea, that sounds like me. I'd want to write a poem down, but by the time I pick up the pen and pad, I've already lost some of it. X.x Thanks; glad YOU think I'm smart. [lol] That, my friend, was the coincidence. Someone else was bound to have seen them...right..? )
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(Yep. It really stinks too. I hate it when the computer messes up and I lose part of a poem. I have never get it as good at the original. You are. So pff. I doubt it. Ha! But no one else did seem them, did they? )
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(Haha, I suppose not. ^.^ )
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(Exactly! )
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Very good write here
This was penned very well and ion your notes it describes the pic very well Good luck in the contest
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well now tihs poem is epic and constructive indeed.. very nice finishing touch... thanks for entering you did amazing!
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wow.. nicely done.. short but very good descrpition of the picture and very good on imagination too...
great job! -
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It's done now.
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It's not done yet. That's why it's so short.
WIP-> Work in progress. I was just getting on to finish it. It will have a different title when I am done.
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