I stretched out my finger tips,like maybe if I reached far enough,
I just might find the answer to this life lesson laying in front of me.
Pulling promises tight around my body because its cold;;
cold in this ninety pound body with all of this laughter
vibrating my spine.&&im stretching the truth to breaking point,
trying to make something out of this mid life crisis
[at sixteen?]
and chewing on thees excuses,trying to taste the very hopelessness
dripping from my existence.its getting hard,barely able to breathe with
this secret laying atop my chest and weighing down my eyelids.
[but at least the weights off those hips of yours,doll face]
&& not even thees hunger pangs can match the feeling of emptiness
stiffening my bones.You shook the last bit of fairy tale
"happily ever afters" out of my head and convinced me to dare and
look for the magic that lay in between bed sheets and used condoms
laying on the floor with the magazine clipping and story books.
I'm burning the thoughts of the things that I once said.&&
silence really does mean nothing,so honey you had better spit out
those excuses like your fucking life depends on it.
[god knows I did]
Author notes
"Bags of Oranges Don't Leave Bruises"
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&& for the options contest,love and a bit of ED
A contest entry
- Your Words Were Bullets And I Was Target Practice by EvenStarsBreak--x.
450 points, ended August 11, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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wow this was deep very insprirational and I loved the second stanza, it was heartfelt and emotional just what I was looking for thank you for your entry and good luck
xox
Tasha -
Very powerful, it hit quite hard. The emotions in this write are simply amazing. great poem. =] Thank you for the entry.
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that was an amazing poem
it was powerful and deep. it hit me hard
thanks for entering and good luck -
These emotions really are raw. I love how you open this piece and how you start off the second stanza
pulling promises tight around me, because it's cold
beautiful metaphor here, very lovely...heartwrenching, relatable and tragic♥ -
"trying to make something out of this mid life crisis
[at sixteen?]"
Love that line. I can just relate to it so much.
This poem is amazing ♥
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"you had better spit out
those excuses like your fucking life depends on it" I love that.
I never really liked dirty pretty but I find myself liking the ones you write. Its not the same regurgetated cliche lines that everyone else spits out every other poem.
This is clever and honest, nothing is better(or worse) to write about then our reality. Because we're the fucking dirty *pretty* dream
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this is absolutely amazing.
i love.love.love it.
"I'm burning the thoughts of the things that I once said.&&
silence really does mean nothing,so honey you had better spit out
those excuses like your fucking life depends on it.
[god knows I did]"
that part is so great. all of it is really.
but that is my favorite.
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Wow. This is absolutely amazing!!! Wise beyond your years, fairy... I am blown away!
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if i could write like you, my life would be complete.
<3
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holy bejesus
God, I can relate to this one so well. It's just... wow, it's raw, and that's exactly what I like about this kind of thing. To be honest, I actually felt my throat starting to tighten up near the middle of the poem. Keep up the great work, I'll be dropping by to read more of your stuff soon.
♠
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