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Mortal Fear


Unbleached bones battle death,
bleak souls grasping every breath.
Bound by darkness, cloaked within,
extinguishing flames of cardinal sin.

Sunken sockets shed empty tears,
grim reaper breaths decay and fear.
Slicing life in which to bleed,
Satan captures souls to breed.

Multiplying sins for greed and gain,
puts the power in the devils name.
All before him tremble and shake,
carnage ignites within his wake.

Eviscerated bodies left to wither and die,
remorse shudders as it breezes by.
Devoured eternally by impalpable pain,
rampant rot flows swift through veins.

Walls of fire keep them entombed,
pitiful spirits forever doomed.
Standing still throughout time,
instilling fear into mortal minds.

Author notes

Prompt: I just want Dark.

Hope this is ok...

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • PastelMoons gold member
    September 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    And Dark it is!
    I love this and agree with the comment
    below "Grim reaper breaths decay and fear."
    indeed a fascinating paradox!
    *Stands and applauds*
    this is incredible!
    Love it!
    ~Pastel


  • ThinkExXist Tonight
    August 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Mind Numbing

    Your style reminds of that of Dani Filth, of Cradle of Filth. "Grim reaper breaths decay and fear." Who would have thought that an act of life could be the cause of death?


  • Fritz O skennick gold member
    July 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow, Blinding!!!

    I've got to say 'You've been on fire of late'
    This is fantastic...
    So deep, so dark & so deliciously evil...
    Again with the chills...
    Well done!!!


  • penman gold member
    July 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Wonderful creation for a dark poem. Congratulations on the honorable mention


  • Lost Vampyre Angel
    July 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is beautiful,
    stunning rhyme darling, i really do love this,
    well deserved HM your wording is awesome too
    all my love,
    kitty xxx


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    July 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    , oh and i told you your poems are addictive from start to finish, i mean this is something, keep it flowing and congrads on the contest


  • Riftkin gold member
    July 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thank you for entering this dark poem ... the story held me from start to finish.

    Riftkin


  • maralisa silver member
    July 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is so dark and scary a wonderful write full of the shadows of errie emotions all the way through your poem but I realy liked the following line of brilliance
    Unbleached bones battle death,bleak souls grasping every breath.Devoured eternally by impalpable pain,
    rampant rot flows swift through veins. Walls of fire keep them entombed,pitiful spirits for ever forever doomed.Standing still throughout time,instilling fear into mortal minds.good luck in the contest


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    July 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh it's dark alright!! And scary.. and wicked and just fabulous!!


    You are still the Queen of Darkness!

1 - 9 of 9