rubs callouses on eye-
this low monkey,
distantly engaged
unquiet, the cocoon
becomes apocryphal
Author notes
Word Count: 14
Edits: 4
In a list
A contest entry
- 15 words by Melissa Gayle.
1400 points, ended July 7, 30 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I adore the ending. Not sure much about prior. I felt it just wasn't for me - the written language still had a mood to it, it just didn't tick any tocks for me.
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And things are not as they seem, or as one once believed... its slow realization while else where. Unsettling and well done. Congratulations on the bronze.
Marlene -
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excellent. profound, distinct and amazing.
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I've just seen this one fly right over me, and considering I think of myself as knowing a whole load of underused words thats a huge compliment.
Now I'm off to Dictionary.com to check out apocryphal, once I know what it means I'm sure it will make all the other pieces fall into place.
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I'm laughing .. because I want to take the previous comments, combine them into one, and make them mine.
I do feel rather a bit slow with this one, but I like the starkness of it.
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apocryphal
what a fine word to end a fine poem
elaine
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This is over my head. I feel so dumb. Even so, it is effective.
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Such depth in so few words.. Wonderfully abstract and intriguing. Nicely done!
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effectively strong...
well done.
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