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Scatter

A mind so innocent
Doesn't deserve to
Go through with this

Her misery sighs with content,
When her legs had failed her,
& she could run no further.

An empty cave of thoughts
Crumbles on her,
Betraying her silent screams
Through the night.

Noisy ravens fly past her,
So quickly & deadly,
Scattering dark images
Through her fragile mind.

 

A future so frightening;

Fear could not leave

Her eyes.

Author notes

option 4

may not be as creative as you want it to be, but i thought it fit the option (:

A contest entry

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Comments


  • PrInCeSs AnAsTaCiA
    August 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    nice write, thanks for your entry


  • sailor ptolema
    July 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    oh i like this! dark and foreboding and hopeless throughout! you've done well with the photo!. But I would like to have seen the poem without the beginning of each like capped...but that's just my preference

    also, I'm sorry this won't be as detailed of a moment as i'd like...I'm pressed for time

    "
    An empty cave of thoughts
    Crumbles on her,
    Betraying her silent screams
    Through the night.">>>>>i really like this stanza! i love how the thoughts created a cave in her mind, that collapsed on her, (maybe causing her to lose her sanity? ) like there was just too much pressure.


    "Noisy ravens fly past her,
    So quickly & deadly,
    Scattering dark images
    Through her fragile mind.">>i like this as well, and i love how they are the purveyors of dark and haunting images

    a well written piece.
    thank you for entering and g'luck!

    S.P.~

  • sailor ptolema
    July 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    http://www.3ayak.org/imaj/Anuseth/pl-the-birds-05.jpg

    ok, I know the image is small..so if its too small, let me know, and I'll send you a link to a bigger one

    ...also, tell me ifyou can't see it