i created this prison on my own.
put up bars behind my eyelids
and forced
my shattered psyche
into isolation
fit for an inmate
after inciting a riot
[because it was just
too hard
to leave it in the open]
i sedated my conscious mind
with mental morphine
and a roofie spiked drink
slid into stagnancy
and dissociation
to play hopscotch
on glazed irises & a bloody nose
this way
there is no pain-
only the shadow of memories
through numb brain cells
and a beat-beat-beating heart
if you peel back the resin
& slice through the
callous layers
of skepticism,
heartbreak
and paranoia
you'll see
that all that's left
is the silhouette
of the person i once was
Author notes
x--Atelophobia--x
& I'm going to write something fresh for this too, if that's okay. =]
A contest entry
- I am an addict! by ERbby.
650 points, ended July 16, 16 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Drugs and Addiction by whiterabbit--x.
400 points, ended October 9, 59 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Wow, this is just amazing. I absolutely love it. You're so talented, just brilliant. I love the phrases and the words that you used. I love how you don't write with overused simple words. You write so beautifully. I can really feel the emotions in this and relate to it. Wonderful job doll.
Definitely a finalist.
x
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i been there honey.... addiction is a disease i wouldn't wish my biggest enemy...
-
Beautiful
I love this section:
"if you peel back the resin
& slice through the
callous layers
of skepticism,"
Beautifully written. A few people mention your form - i think even the background fits in with the main focus. black on empty white - a black silhouette against a shell that's now empty - white.
Keep penning.
-
I'm impressed!
I can see already that you are someone who pays careful attention to form. And I have yet to see a miss. Again, I am so impressed. The alternating indentations make this piece seem to cut or drift in and out, in a way. Again, like the workings of a mind. I feel like you are speaking to me, not verbally speaking, but as though I can see straight into your head. As though I am inside your eyes, peering at that machine that is your mind, watching the comings and goings of thoughts, of such profundity of truth, something that exists in your mind alone, but it's so true to me. Here I see that you have cut yourself off, and you seem to be kicking yourself for it, so to speak. Shutting your eyes to the world, washing your hands of the matter. And now you see that things have gone someplace undesireable, that the situation has become a runaway train, and you are regretting your decision to close your eyes. ("Doctor My Eyes" by Jackson Browne comes to mind. Give him a listen.) I'm very interested, again, and intend to keep reading. Superb work.
Andy
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this is gorgeous
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I never quite feel safe when I say I understand other writers' poem, but this piece of art I really feel I connect to. It spoke to me in a way that seemed like if it had a body, it would embrace me in empathy.
great write =] -
nice,
i loved the write much it is so deep and just wow great work hun, it was much of something diffrent but at the same time just another amazing poem! im speachless really keep up the work
endless -
wow
I sure am glad i stumbled across you
cause this really is one of the most refreshing
and creative poems ive come across in a while.
theres no heavy feeling that thorws itself
at you but it still seeps into you,making you
think about the emotions that may or may not have
been poured into it.good job and good luck with that
contest.
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