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time to wake up



The sun's warm fingers land on my skin,

time to wake up. Warm breezes expose themselves

to flesh & slow heat.

 

Cotton sheets tossed aside; draped at my feet. I

don't wanna get up.

 

I put my best smile on. Greet the four familiar faces

grinning back at me...

 

"Mamma, can we please have some breakfast?" they sing

very much off key.

 

I stumble to the kitchen. Start the slow drip of coffee

I cannot live without; & thank God that my reality

is so much better than it seems this early in

the morning.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • lively banter
    July 18

    Edit | Reply
    There is some pretty details in here. The sun's fingers is lovely, and I too think word warm here is redundant. I like the tone and loving feeling in here. You sound like a good parent if you got your kids to say their pleases and thank yous . I can see the unnoticed expect in here, it's very underplayed and I think that's a good thing. Thanks for the entry.
    -Kevin

  • Dienush Greeters member
    July 13

    Edit | Reply
    This is pretty good. I like how raw it is. I honestly thought "warm" was unneeded in the first line, I mean if it's the sun's fingers, it's pretty obvious they'll feel warm. I like how you combine description with dialogue, poetic language with conversational expressions, and also manage to cram some irony and love into it, but make it sound natural all the same. Quite as life is Thanks for your entry.

    ~Diana


  • evil tempest
    July 3

    Edit | Reply
    :/we all are entitled to have some "bad start" occassionally. good luck you proses get better each time!


  • zochit2me gold member
    July 3

    Edit | Reply
    You are such a good mommy

    I bet they can't wait to see you in the mornings!

    Lovely sentimental write.



    ☼Becky☼
    ♫♫♫♫♫♫


  • adsaige gold member
    July 3

    Edit | Reply
    this is a very sweet and
    true writing i can tell.
    there is large amounts of
    affection for you children
    hidden in these short words
    and there is a humble
    undertone there as well.

    beautiful.
1 - 5 of 5