I
so
lated
my self into this moment
meandered past lost
backward way of thinking
Like an old coat
too many memories to toss out
even when dry rot and aged stench
has taken hold
Dated lantern sparks dimly
lowly flame
light brush of wind
would no doubt extinguish
with no after-thought
But I don't get too close
to drafts
And at first wax of morning
the wick man comes
to melt away illusion
Author notes
I am the poet Poetryality
Border courtesy of wetcanvas.com
http://www.wetcanvas.com/ArtSchool/Oils/CommonProblems/Candle/index.html
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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And at first wax of morning
the wick man comes
to melt away illusion
Loved these lines great job! -
I know the feeling all to well when all those bouyant dreams of yesteryear sink to the bottom at the rising of the sun. Best of luck in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
ps. I weathered the storm and found a job!!
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"Dated lantern sparks dimly
lowly flame
light brush of wind
would no doubt extinguish
with no after-thought
But I don't get too close
to drafts"
Yeah, I avoid those drafts too! Not ready to be extinguished yet -- too much left to do. Sis, let's light up the sky with a big bonfire, lots of wood waiting in the wings. Then we won't have to depend on that little wick!
Wonderful write!
Good luck in the competition!
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That...was...AMAZING!
I like it. It is very epic and deep and dark and soothing in an...open me up raw sort of manner. Iam very impressed! -
Hello Poetryality.
This is a great write, abstract and deep. On the immediate level it reads about the candle itself, burning through the night, perhaps many nights, hence the melted wax that is on the candle holder, but to derive deeper meaning in another direction, it could read as an abstraction for a person's life; a person in the final stages of their life, the once bright flame, now a more sombre burn, aware of one's mortality, and so appreciating the moments that they are in. Anyway that is just my interpretation.
Best of luck in the contest.
My regards.
P.S. You need to put a line from the contest, at the bottom of the explanation about it, into your Author Notes to prove you read the contest notes. And your AP name.
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YOUR IMAGERY IS EXCELLENT,
TO PICK A FAVORITE LINE WOULD BE DIFFICULT,
REALITY WITH A TWIST OF ABSTACT,
EXCELLENT
GOD BLESS...
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What can I say?,this is just beautiful
I love the imagery and flow and
I love your picture to match and
A great masterpiece here indeed,Hazel -
excellent
And at first wax of morning
the wick man comes
to melt away illusion
A well composed poem.Abstarction is intense but understandable. When one does ponder deep...one gets a good shaking.Good job.Visit some of my poetry as well.You would find abstarction that as yet conveys deep emanings quickly.
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wow!
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OOooo..
So you went and took me on another one of your fantastic 'thought' trips! Well lookit here lady I must say..it was great as usual! I love the pure subtly of this piece, and the vivid imagery as well. good luck in the contest my friend!
. Rewarded 4
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This is not a nice piece of poem.. Keep it up o.
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This is really beautiful! I like this poem. It kinda paints a picture of reality in a way. Well keep up the good work!
. Rewarded 4
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beautiful and quite the journey through time this is, the mind is painted wonderfully, alike the major arcana card of the hermit and then the sun, speaks volumes from these pages of what isn't written, and so graced by your pen again,
w chai and cookies
-JAS
. Rewarded 6
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a true poet.
i really like how this poem is put together. i love how its all connected and i can see you were truly putting everything you've got into this poem. i love the use of adjectives and imagery...my favorite part was this:
'And at first wax of morning
the wick man comes
to melt away illusion'
its so perfect n creates such a picture in my mind.
i also like this paragraph:
"
Like an old coat
too many memories to toss out
even when dry rot and aged stench
has taken hold
Dated lantern sparks dimly
lowly flame
light brush of wind
would no doubt extinguish
with no after-thought'
well done. i have no suggestions or ways you could improve. its great -
a true poet.
Wow this is a truely great poem, i like all the adjectives in this poem. i enjoyed reading it alot. to me this poem is like a song- very memorable and really relates to me. i really like this part:
'Like an old coat
too many memories to toss out
even when dry rot and aged stench
has taken hold'
and also
'And at first wax of morning
the wick man comes
to melt away illusion'
it shows that you really have a sense of connectivity and that you really mean what you are saying, i can tell how dedicated you must have been. this poem is great, to me it needs no improvement at all.! -
words are wonderful, simple open words that give the reader an unfettered view of the picture...a mood of isolation and limitation in circumstances, but the thoughts and imagination seem remarkably free...excellent...PK
. Rewarded 4
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I love how captivating this is. So simple, and yet so very complex. I truly enjoyed this. I look forward to reading more.
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Masterfully done
This poem is very interesting and tells so much in not so many words, a powerful force of God's plan and I thank you for sharing it with me and congrats in the contest...
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