Under neon, along Broadway,
vibrations
from the brains
of six million human beings
feels like a symphony
of chaos
playing against my skin
bodies, hearts
and minds
run around me
through me, on top of me,
filling my bones
with something so vibrant
it almost hurts -
the light turns red
but the masses take their chances,
jump around the flashes
of yellow taxi cabs,
and my heart
skips a thousand beats,
while the city snaps
and the sidewalks
sizzle.
Author notes
Prompt: To Inspire
In a list
A contest entry
- Need some inspiration by ml12.
850 points, ended July 4, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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This...didn't win something? I had to go back to the contest link just to make sure.
Well, it's really good
And I can't believe you got all this noisy & colorful imagery from that mundane, but ambiguous prompt.
"vibrations/from the brains"
Strikes me as amusing. Maybe it's the word 'vibrations'. Good line though
"feels like a symphony/of chaos"
Beethoven would be pleased!! I really like your similes.
"playing against my skin"
Great verb use with 'playing' & just very...cohesive simile.
"something so vibrant/it almost hurts"
Inspiration being painful?
"sidewalks sizzle."
'sizzle' is a cool word & I like the alliterative tongue.
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This poem fills me with such words my bones almost hurt as well...my five senses tingle with such hints and inspirations...I feel rather inspired myself.
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"feels like a symphony
of chaos
playing against my skin"
I suddenly became so melancholy. I miss our daily "sound" conversations. With a poem like this though, you've learned without me.
Love you -
You'll never know just how good you are...
Most inspiring, I could feel the heat, taste the air and smell the sea...
♫♫♫♫f
☼Becky☼
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This made me feel like I was walking down the street
in New York City. It certainly fits the prompt.
Love,
Amera♥
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taken aback....
You know, I never envisioned your toes anywhere but in fresh, damp earth. But then again, I have been gone a while...
Yes, quite the sensational journey. The phrase 'symphony of chaos', to me, sums up how I feel about. NYC as well. After visiting, I was able to understand why some wear aluminum foil hats... -
I loved "the light turns red /but the masses take their chances" because of its eloquence. I really enjoyed the imagery and the way you presented this poem. Good luck in the contest
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Great write. Makes me want to move the the country though....
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wow....this was exquisite! love it....there is so much auditory imagery in this! and the ending ...was phenomenal
.... I just love they way you write!
also, love the title, it works so well with the poem
all my best, and then some ~
Ptolema
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Luvit
"the city snaps and sidewalks sizzle"
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I love the way cities fizz all around, I wonder and worry how different this would be without sound, but this sounds very familiar to me
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Excellent. I'll accept this as "my" "Manhattan Dawn" poem, if you like.
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Wonderfully done, gal. I love how the title becomes part of the piece--an understated metaphor, filled though, within lines of the poem.
You have captured New York, on Broadway, and the life and magic that is so alluring about that city. The awesome use of personification there at the end with "snaps" and "sizzles" really topped off the life and magic we all know and love about it.
Really enjoyed this.
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This was absolutely beautiful.
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My Lady
This snaps, pops and moves right along, as I imagine the city does. Well done.
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And this forth of July the city will snap crackle and pop like rice crispies. Maybe we should call it "The Big Snapple"
A sensory delight to read.
Paul
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i think i share this idea that the city has an energy of sight and palpable sensation...on the skin like an electric field, motion and movement and the constant urge to do something...i really liked this one...PK
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I can see you clicking along Broadway, it's evening, lights are coming on like firecrackers, fine rain is falling...but still you are an island in the midst of it all, a sail full of sunset in the storm...
(damn, that was pretty good)
;-)
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"vibrations
from the brains" - I like that.
You take your challenge and use it as a platform for art.
Be Well
Mark
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