Time in this worlds is a blur,
we never take a the time to,
stop and smell the roses.
We are always living in the fast lane,
until something happens,
and bamn,
it is gone.
People are always coming and going,
dying,
being born,
leaving,
coming.
But love and memory,
never,
die,
are always being born,
never leave,
and are always coming.
No one is ever truely gone,
they are always there,
deep in your heart,
and always at your side,
even if you can't see them.
Sometimes they whisper to you,
or touch you,
but you have to pay attention,
very closely to notice it.
No one is truely gone,
they are always held inside of you...
your heart,
your soul.
He is watching over you,
never gone,
always there...
within you,
and up above,
ready to listen,
to what you have to say,
when the sun is put away,
and the stars canvas across the sky.
Author notes
I'm so sorry about your family's loss. You are in my prayers.
No one is ever truely gone, angels are real to me, and they are always with you. They come when they are called, and their presence with you is amazing, but you have to believe.
A contest entry
- In Memory of my Brother (CONTEST) by Child of an Angel.
650 points, ended July 15, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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the title is really great and so is the poem. theres really good lines in this, good job.
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that was beautiful, and if i wasnt a cynic i would believe in this poem whole heartedly.
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Passionate and meaningful.
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The thoughts and sentiments in this are very common, relatable to everyone. You did well with getting your emotion into this.
Line 1 - you don't need an 's' with world as you have used 'is' with it.
Would read smoother:
'time in this world is a blur'
Also, I feel this would be a lot stronger and have more impact if you could cut out some of the repetition of the thoughts/wording. I was told that by some experts up here, and I know on mine when I did that - it did give a tighter, stronger piece of work. I have a lot of mine I am going back through and trying to 'tighten' up. Just a suggestion....
other than that - nice job!
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Thank you for taking the time to leave a thoughtful comment. Hope you are having a nice day. \♥/
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Awesome.
Not gone, just spoken in silence.
Stunning piece
You often don't realize what you have, till it leaves
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You brought tears to my eyes.
I'm quite amazed by this considering your age. I know your age shouldn't be a factor in your poetry. But so often younger poets can't convey such meaningful thought as you have with this poem. I often point out a favorite line or two or a favorite stanza, but I can't decide on any one thing here. Maybe this section:
No one is ever truly gone
they are right there
deep in your heart
and always at your side
I will make a suggestion based on advice given to me by more than one poet that I respect. Use less commas. They "clutter" the poem and distract the reader from what you're trying to say. I'm still going through my old poetry and removing unnecessary punctuation. I'm sorry for your loss. I myself lost my father about four years ago. He had lived a long life but I still wasn't ready for him to leave this world. He will be missed but never forgotten.
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Thank you for the comment, and the suggestions.
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Beautiful job here hun...
i liked the whole thing, not one thing in particular seemed wrong.
Keep writing sissy
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Thank you for entering and good luck! You did a wonderful job tapping into our families thoughts and pain. The poem flows well and it truly helped thank you very much again!
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your poem was beautiful and full of hope and love and you do need to believe that there is something more greater out there if we take the time to wait and feel it great advice given i truely except it fully thank you for the reminder of angels
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life is a ride!
Well let me start by pointing out that your poem shows a maturity and understanding that is far beyond your years. Your poem I know was written with purpose, but it rings true for all, as we do live our lives without stopping for a moment and realizing how beautiful everything is. In such a rush to do everything, we dont enjoy the journey....I can see you will not make that same mistake! Bravo...
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awwwwww
Very nice princess and so true. No one is ever truly gone. This is precious and sweet. I love you princess, Daddy
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This is beautiful it came from your heart and I am proud I love you loads and loads goodluck to you sweety always
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