Spirits of summertime bliss,
read from inside a cave.
Moments of nausea
and daylight's hard to save.
The demigods we prayed to
never did much good.
I stood alone
with a razor in my hand,
and was finally free
A contest entry
- Pre Written Rhyme by piccola.
600 points, ended July 9, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Walking into the Darkness! by vampireblood.
300 points, ended September 21, 2008, 66 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make it Personal - Personification by Swintha.
700 points, ended November 11, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - { depression/ suicide} by Angel Eyed Baby.
702 points, ended December 22, 2008, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Great stuff!!!
Less is more...
So much said in so few words...
Could relate to much of this piece...
Keep up the good work...
Well done!!!
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The demigods we prayed to
never did much good.
I stood alone
with a razor in my hand,
and was finally free
strong poem you have right here,
i loved it very much
the last part got to me hit home in a way you could say, keep it comeing im loveing your words
vanna -
WOW! I have so been there, many, many times. Even within the last 2 weeks. I love your poetic style, so raw and deep, but so splendidly expressed. Congrats on your upcoming wedding! I, too, am disabled, but continue to write poetry, songs and give a bad name to amateur photographers, just joking. My photos are like my poetry, always an undercurrent of the great questions and humanity. I have done some "pretty" pictures, that was nice, but art is not meant to imitate life, but to raise us above it's entanglements. Sorry....I do go on! I am about to check out your books.
BLESSINGS & LOVE,
Doris
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this is dark which is fine, but the last stanza holds no rhyme as far as I can tell. thank you for entering.
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Nice poem.
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