From behind the walls of ignorance,
Cowers an apathetic fool
Walls built thick of secrets and denial
Self absorbed, never minding the ever lasting
Effects on the victim in his wake
Depression, isolation, ashamed and dirty
Are secrets that she keeps
She bears the burden meant for him
“Just get over it”
“Don’t dig up the past”
Well, hear my voice,
Cause I’m no longer afraid
My mask is off for all to see
Your evil acts are yours to own
And the wall is yours to hold
The blame I will no longer share,
For it is yours alone to bear
Take it; it’s too damn heavy,
And I am too damn tired
To hold your wall of shame
Author notes
7. "Don't judge me based on your ignorance"
-Thorin
This is for my father who continues to ignore the pain he has caused from sexually abusing me as a child. For him, ignorance is bliss.
A contest entry
- ---| Quote Inspired |--- by Tamaska Forsaken.
650 points, ended July 12, 6 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dead Inside by DarkWolfGirl.
1500 points, ended August 9, 52 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your BEST of everything prewrites!!! by perfectsunset.
475 points, ends September 10, 104 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Pre-writes, new poems, Anything by Illusions of Faith.
300 points, ended September 3, 162 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - lots of options! enter your best poem! PW ☺ by pain without love.
450 points, ended August 26, 28 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Favorites by CarnalNineTailedFox.
300 points, ended September 2, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 45 of 45
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I like this. It is powerful. What an expression of separation and release!
I especially like:
"The blame I will no longer share,
For it is yours alone to bear
Take it; it’s too damn heavy,
And I am too damn tired
To hold your wall of shame"
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well written poem
A very sad well written poem A great pity attacks
of this nature occur, especialy when the perpetrator
shows no remorse George -
beautiful descriptions, i loved the way it flows, a very powerful write
great job
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I love the use of words in this, they carry so much emotion that cuts through the reader.
I love the lines;
Well, hear my voice,
Cause I’m no longer afraid
My mask is off for all to see
Your evil acts are yours to own
And the wall is yours to hold
I see you standing up to show the world. A wonderful write.
Rose
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Wow; this was so powerful. Beautiful elaborations & descriptions. An excellent read!
Thanks for entering & best of luck
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God bless you, Patty. I hope your father is suffering for what he has put you through. I can't imagine the hurt you feel. I have lived a fruitful life compared with yours and will not complain about my lot again. This was a poem written which should never have been. You should not have had to feel these things. I hope the great spirit finally lets him see the terrible pains he inflicted. God, Patty. My heart is always with you!
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Thank you so much. It is true that this is a pain that never truly goes away, but I have worked very hard to get where I am today. This happens to so many that it is overwhelming at times to think about it. Your compassionate comment means a lot to me. Thank you. Blessings, Patty
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I like this poem. Refusal to bear another's shame- very direct here. :]
"Depression, isolation, ashamed and dirty
Are secrets that she keeps
She bears the burden meant for him"
Saddening and descriptive. I love it.
"From behind the walls of ignorance,
Cowers an apathetic fool
Walls built thick of secrets and denial
Self absorbed, never minding the ever lasting
Effects on the victim in his wake"
I like this. It shows how careless the "torturer"- I guess you would call it- is.
Well deserved trophies. :]
-Lily♥
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I am sorry but I can't let you place in the contest because this has won a trophy higher than green. It is a wonderful poem.
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That is okay..it won before this one was ended. Patty
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A very powerful emotional write you have penned. I loved the ending. The only way to get past the pain and guilt is to know it was nver your fault. Nicely done! Thanks for entering and good luck.
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Oh my, this is extremely deep. I knew a girl who suffered from the same thing...took her life because of it. I'm very impressed you were able to take all that bottled up pain and pour it out into each line of this poem. This is definitely one of the most moving things i've ever read. I'm glad you were able to speak out and acknowledge that the blame is in no way, shape, or form yours at all. Thank you so much for entering :'}
Best of Luck
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Thank you so much for such a thoughtful and kind comment. I appreciate it so much! Blessings, Patty
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Oh. This is a really sad poem that you have going on here. It sounds like you have really been through a lot in your life so far and are having a hard time in coming to terms with it. It must be really rough. In the end though, you really can't change any one but yourself. I thought you did a good job of describing that here.
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What an incredibly powerful poem. Your words are harsh and truthful, and you bring to the fore a fact that many, many young people go through/are going through but are often to scared/ashamed to speak of. Kudos to you for having the strength to stand against it, and know that shame is NOT your burden! Thanks so much for sharing this, and taking the time to enter my contest,
Luck. -
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Thanks so much for the wonderful and thoughtful comment. Blessings, Patty
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This is an awesome poem. I got a one or two friends that will relate to this poem. Enjoyed the read! Thank you for entering my contest.
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Wow, a close friend of mine has this same problem... Her dad keeps trying to be friends and we all would greatly appreciate it if he just went away - he is, after all, the one that caused her psychosis... I love this poem I'm going to share it with her and hope that it makes her feel stronger...
JADE RAYNE* -
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Thanks so much Jade. I hope your friend does find her strength, she deserves peace in her life. It is great that she has a strong and loyal friend like you to support her. Blessings, Patty
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Nice work.
Great flow, great metaphors, great grammar.
Good job.
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Thanks so much for your kind comment and the applause. It is appreciated very much. Blessings, Patty
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Great take on the quote. Your flow was good and you painted a picture of strength. Well done in all ways. Pen on...
. Rewarded 4
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Thank you for your kind and thoughtful comment and the applause. It is much appreciated! Blessings, Patty
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Appealing
quite an interesting poem -
Wow! Thank you so much for linking to this; you're right that our poetry is very much related by this subject matter. I love the way you express this message. I really like the whole thing; somehow the first lines of the third stanza feel the most personal to me. You are so right that it is never the victim's fault, and it's so good to see you acknowledging that in this poem. As I said I can really relate to these feelings. Thank you so much for sharing and to pointing me towards this gem!
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Oh! how sad!
Abuse of any kind is hard to bear but familial abuse is the worse! I'm glad to see you throwing off the pain to where it belongs on to the shoulders of the pain giver!
God Bless,
DeGraw
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WOW, this is such a powerful and meaningful write. You have opened up your heart and just poured it all out. I think you have done such a spectacular job here and deserve a trophy for sure on this one. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Take care.
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I think this is probably one of the most painful writes I've ever read on here, it must've taken guts to write so openly. I hope it was something of a cathartic experience for you. Poetry is one of those processes that can help us deal with such horrendous experiences as you have obviously had to suffer. Thank you for feeling strong enough to share such a powerful and thought provoking write. I admire your courage. Thank you.
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You got it!!!
I see you have a number of comments and suggestions. The changes make this very powerful. You did it up right girl. It is nice when we can build from each other's suggestions and experience. It is so refreshing to meet someone who is open minded enough to maintain their baby while give it room to grow. RC -
Oh Patty, this write brought tears to my eyes.No child should ever have to endure what you have gone through.A parent is suposed to love and protect their child at all times.What your father did to you is utterly discusting and he needs to own up to such a sin.He took away your innocence and your childhood.I hope he goes to hell, I am sure the lord will judge him serverely when his time is up, he will be made to see and feel all his wrong doings,and he will be judged.On the other side of this write, I can feel your strength, and I am so proud that you can stand tall and vent your feelings.Your write will touch alot of people and even give them the strength and courage to stand up to their abusers. Your wordsspeak very powerfully and the last two stanzas are awesome.So much power and determination.I take my hat off to you dear friend, and give you my standing ovation for a well written write.
Keep penning your thoughts and feelings as it is great therapy for our spirits, and I thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. God Bless and much love and happiness .
Your friend
~Angel~
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This is powerful! I think of the child trapped in such a situation and the trauma inflicted on the psyche. And then the adult who has worked so hard to heal from that. I think you have done a wonderful job, both in this write and in your own life. Speaking out like you do can help so many! Exellent! ***Pam***
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Thanks so much for your kind comment Pam. Yes, the trauma is a tough one to heal, and one that never truly goes away. But he lives on as if he has done nothing wrong. My only saving grace is knowing that he will face his own judgement in the end. Blessings, Patty
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This is a well done piece. It has a message and a strong one. I do like the descriptives. Excellent work.
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nice choice
yes.
I like the black background a lot better.
I can just feel the emotion. -
Gross, I'm sorry to hear you suffered that, and I hope you really do find the strength to battle that part of a human that asks for an apology, not for his sake, but yours.
As for the poem, it doesn't make as much sense until I got to read the author's notes, then it sounds good. The problem is you explain the feelings of a situation, but not the situation itself, so we're left wondering in what place your feelings fit.
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Phenomenal
Well written.
Great form. Maybe it would hold a more powerful message if you would change the background to something that appears hard or rough.
This poem means so much to me.
It is exactly how I feel
and the theory of the wall my social worker poses to me.
I really want to give this poem to her.
I don't know how she finds the strength to hold that wall of shame.
Great job!
. Rewarded 8
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Thanks so much for your kind comment. I liked your idea to change to a darker background and did so if you want to look at it again. Thanks for the suggestion. You are welcome to share this if you want. Blessings, Patty
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Powerful
I must admit that on first reading, I was a bit confused....as you switched from him, then to her and I wasn't sure who was behind this wall. Your author notes not only gave clarity but helped drive the impact of each stanza, something about it should feel more forceful (the last two stanzas), in each line I see your resilient strength and determination and resolve which not only made me admire your poem, but you yourself......
P.S....why are some of your sentences beginning with common letters?I know some people just have different ways of formatting ideas, just wanted to know if that was a personal thing.
. Rewarded 8
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Thank you for your kind and thoughtful comment. I originally had periods added at the end of my sentences and had a suggestion that it would make it more powerful to take those out, and just leave the commas. I went back and capitalized each line and I think I do like it better. For me, it just depends kind of on what message I am trying to portray in a write as to how I set it up and punctuate. Thanks again. Blessings, Patty
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In this instance can I ask to see this with only the commas you have carefully provided. Take out the periods to end sentences as they make the wonder of this write less powerful. Make it a poetic atomic bomb rather than a correct use of grammar piece. I would like the opportunity to read it that way. Once you have done that editing, get back with me and let me review it in that format. Anthems don't require periods, only fire and emotions. In fact in poetry they are more effective that way. RC
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Thanks for the advice. I learn something new here all the time and that is wonderful. I'm glad you are back on as I have missed you. But I think I may have told you that already.
The periods are gone. Please tell me what you think now. Patty
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Most Excellent
The note at the end lends strength to the whole piece, and I admire you for writing about a subject that must be at least sensitive, if not painful.
I enjoyed the feeling of vindication throughout, and the victory hard won was most satisfying. This wasn't the response I was expecting, but upon reflection, this was just as pleasing, if not more. I liked how your father became the fool clutching his ignorance and you became the hero who shed their mask and relinquished the walls of shame to him.
It felt like a victory for mankind. And yes, I do know how cheesy that last line sounded, and corny. I'm chill like that.
Once again, most impressive, my thanks to you for entering, and best of luck in the contest!
Tamaska
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I love your show of strength in this write. Excellent poem..best of luck in the contest.
Linda
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A great healing poem. Shows the confidence that you now have to not let him own your life anymore. It is his tragedy that he can and will not admit his wrong. By releasing him you gain control and he loses it.
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it is the only way to heal,
why hold onto something that you do not own,
when you let it go then the power is yours.
excellent healing write
very powerful words
God bless...
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