I remember being young
staring intently at trees
as they passed my car window
until they were no more
than a distorted blur of green.
Some sci-fi moment-to-moment travel game.
Lost inside
Found outside
I wonder what my parents thought
as they watched -
Or if they even noticed
that I wasn't there anymore.
Author notes
Written 6/27/08 on a paper plate at Oasis in New Palz after several shots of sake.
In a list
A contest entry
- Abandon by misselaineous.
2050 points, ended July 20, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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i can completely connect. my parents don't seem to know that i'm not there anymore. if they do, they do a damned good job of hiding it.
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this tugged at my heart
lost inside
the disappearing act of you
thank you
elaine x
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i love this
especially in correlation to the contest
directives- what an interesting take
- creative take
on this
abandoned in the middle of the abandoners..
brilliant
m
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bookmarked.
the title, the write, the author notes (I use to write on bar napkins) ... once again, bookmarked.
thanks.
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I'm not entirely sure what sake is, but I like this! I can just imagine you sitting and writing on a plate, lost in your own thoughts. I sometimes go there too - it's dangeous though: my mind is too small to be out on its own!
Pure and thought provoking poetry
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This was just like me. You could have pulled it from my own well of memories, even the bit about wondering if anyone noticed I wasn't there anymore.
(I love your AN's too)
Brilliantly written.
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Well dear...
you have taken a childhood moment and written it into a reality for everyone who has ever been there.
Sometimes I would like to blend into those trees and just disappear for a while from the daily grind of adulthood and the bitter life lessons that seem to keep slapping me in the face.
You and your writing are loved by me more than you will ever know...
Your ability to go deep and personal is one of the many qualities I admire, as well as connect to.
☼Becky☼
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I came up with the idea before the sake and paper plates, actually.
I rode the bus upstate new york this weekend, and being one of about 7 people on the bus, had plenty of time and space to stare out the window... it made me remember doing similar as a little girl.
Sadly, as mentioned in another comment, the trees just won't blur anymore, but it was still a nice little escape on the bus.
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a unique moment/situation you share with the reader in this poem, that most can relate to & have experienced, but I would have never thought of writing it..lol...where do you come up with your ideas?? I think I need some sake now. You know, I was looking up the word 'sake' yesterday & sake was listed as a homonym. So weird to see it here by you today in your notes...
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hehe, well next time come with me and we can both write on paper plates
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Ah! So that is your secret, eh? Sake & paper plates...lolol...sounds fun..I'd love to
I can't write a thing lately, I'm heading to my cupboards right now to search for some paper plates...I will try anything at the moment! lol.
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this speaks more than you can tell.
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I remember such times too...i was always the day-dreaming one of us 5 children.
This took me waaaay back, Suzi...I too traveled, and like Kathleen, I still do that - often! Lovely one this.
~ Nicolette
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Oh, so true. To be in a moment, but miles away... that was me too! Still is, somedays.
Perfect, just the way it is.
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Very good!
Did you ever look at the people behind other car windows and wonder about their lives?
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