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Above You

 

 

 

 

 

I walk above you in the green grass
on a day full of sky matching your orbs
and I water the grass in memories of you.

How you had the grace of a hawk
soaring high then swooning
down the smooth cliff walls
of Bald mountain.

Your soul was a fire of delight
and we spent so many flickers
under all of those wild stars
riding moon beams of ecstasy.

There we were two swallow trilling
to each other with energized passion,
I thought the sun would always rise with you.
How the winds can change so easily.

I watched you wither away life a dessicated leaf
and though I tried to hold you through it all
you crumbled away in the dryness of unwanted death.

Here under this soft green grass you lie my love.
Victim of cancer that has taken so many.
Though I have moved on as I must move on.
Once in a while I must come back and look at you
sending teardrops to permeate the ground as kisses.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • marlene47 silver member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    Nice images you create with this write - a day full of sky, swooning down the smooth cliff ways, fire of delight, under all those stars riding moonbeams of ecstasy, two swallows trilling, sending teardrops as kisses. A moving memento to a loved one.
    Congratulations on the silver.
    Marlene
  • michael thomas
    July 18
    Edit | Reply
    this is awesome in enervating emotion. congratulations and really well deserved.


  • pania gold member
    July 18

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for this fine entry in the contest. I really like the contrast of subject matter, sombre, reflective, with the images of such grace and freedom - sky, birds, flames, wind - and the dessicated leaf let me see the ebb of life, the tide moving out.

    The final stanza, and its loop back to the first, to the image of watering the grass, and showing that as tears, was well done technically, but just missed somehow emotionally.

    The realism of moving on, and the reverence of memories, is wonderful. Well done.
  • judyjudyjudy
    July 2

    Edit | Reply
    "Though I have moved on as I must move on" That really resonated for me as does the thought of coming back occasionally. I presume to the grave?

  • hardeepb
    July 2

    Edit | Reply
    "Your soul was a fire of delight
    and we spent so many flickers
    under all of those wild stars
    riding moon beams of ecstasy."

    I love this stanza, and this piece. After reading lines about the hawk and eagle, all I can picture is a sky like the aurora borealis as birds create the tail of colours. So beautiful.

    I think the imagery in this isn't as natural as maybe you'd hope BUT it is so damn real. Watering the grass in memories of you; I think we all do this, we all try to make sure the memories last as long as possible. Ridiculous imagery, makes my mind race. 9/10!

1 - 5 of 5