Isn't it funny how things don't work out?
I thought that love was something anyone could have
just not something everyone needed
That maybe if I kept myself believing nothing lasted for too long,
I'd last forever
Maybe if I could simply avoid the thing everyone else wanted so badly,
my story wouldn't come to a close
Yeah,
I've seen Cinderella
I know how it ends
and as a child decided I wasn't going to ride off into the sunset and live
"happily ever after"
I had bigger things to do,
more important matters to attend to
I was gonna sing my way through life
and do all the things I wanted to do
I couldn't leave my fingerprints on the world with a tag along
But what a strange thing
how one pair of eyes knocked the ground out from underneath me
and at the same time made me think
that sunsets and endings weren't what was lying in front of me
It was as though god knew I didn't want him to go easy on me
and gave me you to prove it
Telling me to shut up and take it for what it was
because even though nothing would last forever,
everything was more beautiful and precious because of it
and that maybe forever wasn't what I was looking for
Author notes
Here's an up-beat poem for ya. I haven't written one in a while so I figured I'd do one better. Not only is it lovey and mushy, it's in a style I've never used before.
Tell me what you think, I'd love to know how crap-tastic I am.
A contest entry
- prewrites by Melissa Gayle.
500 points, ended July 11, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me YOUR BEST by sapphireangelwings.
750 points, ended October 2, 2008, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please leave a comment, yo.
Comments
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I truly relate to this piece. It could use some trimming of the word length and some work on the imagery but over all I liked where you went with this.
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The whole poem seems rather vague and abstract. Try describing more. You do well with Cinderella and a pair of eyes, but other than that, there's few descriptions and little imagery.
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To me this reads more like a conscious stream of thought.
You tell me everything and show me nothing.
Some imagery and individual stanzas would greatly enhance the piece. You have a foundation here, but I do think it needs reworking.
Love the ending line of stanza one though.
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That made me want to cry, because it is so different from what you normally write. *Cries like a mother* My Liz is growing up!
I couldn't really find what part I like the best, because I love it all. 
I also really like the title. Amazingly beautiful.
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