Silken petals drift lazily
against the early zephyr.
Rosy blushes
flutter on porcelain skin
only to be harshly brushed away
by rough sun-kissed hands
that ruthlessly tear away innocence.
Roses bleed from clipped thorns,
and scattered sakuras
stay silently still.
Afraid to breathe
less the wind carries it away,
the wittinesses turn pale
when velvet slides against sandpaper,
and no one prevents
the sakuras from turning red.
Author notes
crivanea
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Uh, wow. This is amaazing.
Peace & love,
xx Sin -
well its a really good poem but its not really scary or dark. thank u for entering and good lucky!
*hugs* tay. -
A heart touching write here dear...
Such a short write with a strong impact and imagery!
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Line 5: it should be 'brushed' not 'brush'
Other than that I don't know what to say.
Great use of imagery and flow.
Though, I think some of your word usage may be too complex, which corrupts the simplistic thought provoking overall feel and message in this poem. -
wonderful imagery and the emotions brought forth from it
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evocative
This is an evocative and thoughtful poem which works on a number of levels because of its metaphoric imagery and sad subject matter. It's very moving because it uses poetic techniques and devices, rather than just using overt, emotional statements. This is the way that poetry enters into us deeply, and not just on a superficial level, so congratulations on achieving that. Very impressive work.
Best wishes in the contest,
myron.
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