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Wanted

Fullness has engulfed me...My release I can not controll...Im weighing heavy above the sphere...Oh, Im starting to leak through ... just alittle over here...More of me is begining to fall ... Im slipping...no where to hold onto...down , down I continue...Where am I headed...I feel so free , so alive...shattered , scattered in pieces all around...caressing this rough exterior ... Quenching the parched place I land...absorbed and wanted ...ravished by the dry seed...yes, someone wanted me.

A contest entry

I'm sorry as I'm on a phone. navigating , and formats are diffcult. Thank you .

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • Thoughts-of-Soloman
    July 8, 2008
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    Wanted

    'Fullness has engulfed me
    My release I can not controll
    Im weighing heavy above the sphere
    Oh, Im starting to leak through
    just alittle over here'

    This does make me smile... although I'm sure it shouldn't do.
    It's the rhyming that does it... Smiles are good!

    'More of me is begining to fall
    Im slipping
    no where to hold onto
    down , down I continue'

    How I love the rain!

    Where am I headed
    I feel so free , so alive
    shattered , scattered in pieces all around
    caressing this rough exterior
    Quenching the parched place I land
    absorbed and wanted
    ravished by the dry seed
    yes, someone wanted me.

    I hope I didn't do too bad a job making your line breaks for you, it was easier for me to read this way.
    I did wonder in the first stanza if we were looking at the ozone layer but then yes, it becomes clear we are water suspended then falling and nourishing the earth.

    A very good choice of subject and this really brought a smile to me.

    Thank you so much!

    Sol

  • Thoughts-of-Soloman
    July 3, 2008

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    No apology necessary, thank you so much for your trouble to deliver this to us.

    Good luck with the judging.

    Just out of interest, would you like me to make your line breaks for you?
    I doubt it will make much difference to the judging or that it would be much trouble, I can copy, paste elsewhere send a copy to my co-judge and then read... if you wish?

    Will be back soon.

    Sol