Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Not Sharing...

A lesson in selfish desperation...


Look down upon her with your greedy eyes,
rolling your hands for the prize.
You forget that you are dealing with me
and she is mine.

 

So be warned before you even attempt,
take another soul as she has already given hers to me.
Think you are strong perhaps?
Wishful thinking in the end;
tear you to pieces if you try.

So it begins...

Master of all things you claim to be,
let me test your claims.
Stand behind me my love
a green eyed dragon protects you,
have faith in my invincibility.

Play with my mind,
as you tell me my strength is no defense.
That your decision to take is resolute.
Come through me then,
prove your hollow scripture.

Witness the horror as you pass through.
Feel the dark winters touch but not for me.
My head turns to watch her fall to the ground;
a poker player's grin on your face.
Grab onto her body and wail on deaf ears..

So you think you have won?
Think you can take her from me so easily?
Keep her soul warm for you do not know my strength of love!

Do not worry my love I am on my way...
Eight inches of steel to stop my heart.

Open my eyes to see the darkness,
and there you wait for me.
"Is there nothing you wouldn't do for me?" you whisper...
Thought he took you from me I am sure.
But now we will be together forever, even in his house...I won't share you!

Author notes

You can't stop a miracle

Inspired by Angel's Son by Sevendust

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • LymphBeauty
    July 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    loved it! point blank
    I felt your warning and the dare to challenge you...I felt the love and felt like I was intruding into something that I wasn't supposed to
    loved it
    ::huggs&kisses::
    LB


  • Hope Angel silver member
    July 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very poweful poem, I loved how your protrayed the story. It made the reader want to keep reading. You are right in the fact that love is stregth. Nice write and good luck in the contest.

  • Improv Machinery
    July 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    the punctuation you put in made the poem a lot clearer. it really separated each thought from the next. you did a really good job with it. never doubt your abilities. when in doubt, write like you speak.

  • Improv Machinery
    July 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i really like your take on this particular song. i do, however, think that this poem, while very good, could really use some punctuation. i found myself trying to sort out where each thought started and the next one began. I like the overall premise of the poem, but in my opinion it needs just a few minor touch ups. great write.

  • benevolentoleander
    July 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    first..lol to the comment below mine..
    second.. wow! this is a beautiful story! A battle with a non-believer, an evil to all things good... protection for his girl, she needs him as badly as he needs her..
    i love the last line.. but now we will be together forever, even in his house...I won't share you!
    some may call this greed.. i just all it love...
    dont share!

  • U.g.l.y.
    July 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Uhm... as always coming from you, this poem sounds egocentric enough... but regardless of that, it's beautifully written, and the rest is pretty obvious.


    • Harmonious Jade
      July 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Nice word..egocentric..at least you didn't call me arrogant Well, not yet anyways

  • Perfect Insanity
    July 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm... very interesting. You've pieced together beautiful words written with a possessive resolve. The litte details add a lot to the story we see... "a poker's players grin on your face," genius line! Love surpassess all, even time! =) I love what you have done with the song!

  • Improv Machinery
    July 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
1 - 10 of 10