| Your Original Draft | Yours- Shortened-Line Layout | My Original Draft- A Quadruple Terzanelle Chain | My Original Draft- Expanded | Your Original Draft in a Triple Terzanelle Chain | |
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| Shadows cower in pinpoint miles a nameless trigger. into its abode a joyless lullaby. at the peak of dawn, they mount in nighttime's playground. upon this view intertwine in time with parallel dimensions, seasons watching. to time's testing, as we are lost- and life our souls the life of us. remnants flicker. glasses clink. In awe, we admire its hue . . . . . . a good evening
to both of us. | In shadowed needs a distant haze the world recedes my heart engaged the depths of a soul a distant haze beckoning, slow pulling further in the depths of a soul I hear a hymn a melancholy song pulling further in I journey beyond peering deep inside a melancholy song Oblivious to all in shadowed needs a soul enthralled the world recedes… I see our lives the beginning, the end peering deep inside I see us ascend surrounded by darkness the beginning, the end The soul is in sadness while we are here surrounded by darkness though sadness is near oh, how it dances while we are here sharing glances a soul in time oh, how it dances a realm within I see our lives the beginning, the end peering deep inside… Morsels of bread goblets of wine to sad strains wed oblivious to time all is fine goblets of wine in your eyes our souls collide all is fine lost inside the depths exploring our souls collide my eyes imploring a love, a life the depths exploring Our love, a toast morsels of bread two souls a ghost to sad strains wed… Wondering thus as life reels past a toast to us ease on back watch the stars as life reels past life and love are ours let’s raise a glass to see the stars these moments will pass this life of ours let’s raise a glass and see the stars distantly light this life of ours adorned with light wondering thus the eternal night a toast to us. | A journey fraught with shadowed needs, a distant haze, the world recedes; Across the way my heart’s engaged the depths of soul, a distant haze; Mysteries that keep beckoning, slow drawn further in the depths of soul; From the stand I hear a hymn, a melancholy song, drawn further in; A journey beyond, lonesome, long, peer deep inside a melancholy song; Caught in time, oblivious to all a journey fraught with shadowed needs, a soul enthralled the world recedes…
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In the mirrored lake I see our lives their beginning, their end, peering deep inside; In the dream I see us ascend surrounded by darkness, the beginning, the end; Our souls are revealed, singing in sadness, while we are here surrounded by darkness; Sadness sings, the voice is near, yet how it dances while we are here; Simple moments, sharing glances, a singing soul, how it dances; A realm within, in a mirrored lake I see our lives, their beginning, their end, peering deep inside…
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Feelings and thoughts, morsels of bread, two goblets of wine, to sad strains wed; Spinning, with you, oblivious to time, and all is fine, two goblets of wine; Casting for love in your eyes, two souls collide, and all is fine; The day becomes lost, lost inside, the depths exploring, two souls collide; Caught in a crossfire, my eyes imploring, a love, two lives, two souls exploring;
We raise a glass, to love, a toast; feelings and thoughts, morsels of bread, two souls, the ghosts to sad strains wed…
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Sitting idle, wondering thus, as life reels past, a toast to us; Judging me here, easing on back, watch the stars as life reels past; Life and love, could they be ours? Let’s raise a glass watch the stars; The sun will rise, these moments will pass, these lives of ours, let’s raise a glass;
Silent moods, the darkness, the stars, distant lights, these lives of ours; Watching the stars adorn the night, sitting idle, wondering thus upon the soul, the darkness, sadness; two points of light, a toast to us. |
Shadows cower in pinpoint miles like panorama’s smeared by dusk unlocked prison of latent smiles; A lingering soul, the smell of musk pulling me slowly in its abode as panorama’s smeared by dusk; a joyless lullaby, faint, old; a dilated peek and the sojourn begins pulling me slowly in its abode; No conscience at the dawn, of sins, our lives enfold before my eyes with a dilated peek the sojourn begins; Mounting under nighttime skies outlooks and bygones meet, enthralled, our lives enfold before my eyes; Scaling over the playground walls shadows cower in pinpoint miles outlooks and bygones meet, enthralled unlocked prison of latent smiles.
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A soul laments upon this view dances gently in pirouettes shifting glimpses to pursue; Shifting glimpses, silhouettes intertwined, gliding time danced gently in pirouettes; On the table, bread and wine stillborn in weary matrimony intertwined, gliding time; Stillborn in weary matrimony even blind to time’s testing we cheer, a fine ceremony; Crashing subtly, eyes suggesting souls to open, soon are lost even blind to time’s testing; Lost in depths, loitering in wonder a soul laments upon this view same eyes pleading, love to plunder shifting glimpses to pursue.
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Same eyes pleading, love and life mine in depths, contemplating yours upon the distant lights; Souls eloping, feast creating yours a sole phantasm mine in depths, contemplating; Traveling back across the chasm remnants flicker, tugging pasts, yours a sole phantasm; Stars subdued, a silent glass hugging moments, the life of us remnants flicker, tugging pasts; A toast, two clinking glasses thrust momentums passing, twilight skies hugging moments, the life of us; Faraway illuminating same eyes pleading, love and trust mine, the hues of a good evening, yours, upon the both of us. |
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