Holding your hand,
No car,
No phone,
No one,
For atleast a mile.
A camp fire lights magically in front of us.
I look you in the eyes,
You into mine.
The crackling fire jolts back and forth as a constant reminder of our burning passion.
The sun is setting and the sky is reacting.
It has gone through every known color in the entire spectrum of light.
But the one It is now is my favorite,
Because it makes you look so stunning.
We kiss,
And for a moment that seems to last forever,
Our souls melt into each other and become one.
And to this day,
That campfire burns just as bright as ever,
And I'm not talking about the flaming pile of wood......
Author notes
Wrote for a contest but was thinking of the girl who calls me adorkable
A contest entry
- Spirit by Nicole Hanna.
4000 points, ended July 13, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Anything akward or out of place?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I wonder if the two instances of words being pushed together (ie "atleast" in last line of S1 and "infront" in first line of S2) were intentional or typos. Generally, when words are intentional done like that, it's pretty obvious to the reader, or else, doesn't feel awkward while reading. In this instance, they did feel a little strange. You do a lot of telling verses showing here in this poem. You tell me the fire cracks in front of you, instead of talking directly about the fire in a metaphoric and even symbolic way. That's not to say that you have to use metaphor in poetry, but it helps from time to time. Anyway, it's an endearing poem, and your spirit is here (and I LOVED "adorkable" lol). Thanks for entering.
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Thx nicole,ima revise it a little
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awwwwe = ) cuteness
love the poem adam
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LOL, adorkable! I see you developed the camp fire theme a little further here. See how the girl likes this one... Thanks for the heads up. All the best.
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Teehee...Ur adorkable
Luffle you
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Aww thx babygirl,I lova ya two.......a,lol
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