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Dark Beauty

She catches your eye.
That dark beauty,
Silver hair,
In the moonlight.

She goes up to you,
You want to touch her.
You put your hands out,
She chops them off.

You scream,
She laughs,
The dark beauty.
She grins.

Many go up to her,
She slashes their,
Necks.
Poor boys.

This dark beauty,
Untouchable,
She will kill us,
All.

The night sky,
Overlaps.
More come,
And more die.

Author notes

Hm... "Terra Exorcism Surveillance - George Grie"

Well, this is not my favorite poem :/ But... it will do. I sorta wish it came out a bit better... but I sorta... was having a little blank moment? Enjoy please.
xXDarkChildXx

A contest entry

What do you think?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments


  • Luckintheshadows
    July 4
    Edit | Reply
    I must say, I really enjoyed this! I guess I have an extremely twisted sense of humour because this really made me smile.
    I love how your poem flows, moves quickly through each stanza, your short lines really capture the essence of your "dark beauty".
    An excellent take on the prompt!

    Thanks for sharing, and for entering my contest,

    Luck.

  • fallen.xx.angel
    July 3
    Edit | Reply
    Very dark and and it has a nice flow. The first stanza is very gripping.

  • dame de la riviere silver member
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    in places the form workks, but it's not consistent. i don't know, maybe that's just the free verse vibe getting to me...but it was interesting to see where the narrator was going with the theme. peace

    • xXDarkChildXx
      July 1
      Edit | Reply
      There is no form really haha I just write, I'm not the greatest at keeping to a "form"