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Love Immortal

You held my gaze ‘till I chose to follow,
drawn into your life of solemn darkness.
I found in your eyes the pool of sorrow,
my soul ablaze in your world of starkness.

A deeper love I could not hope to find,
you held my gaze ‘till I chose to follow.
I took your hand and was no longer blind,
floating within the world of tomorrow.

The darkness within was only hollow,
so I chose the door of eternity.
You held my gaze ‘till I chose to follow
and cherish the love you bequeath to me.

I offered my throat and I gave to you,
the fluid of life; you chose to swallow.
Eternal life is the door I pass through.
You held my gaze ‘till I chose to follow.

 

 

 

Author notes

Quatern
A Quatern is a sixteen line French form composed of four quatrains. It has a refrain that is in a different place in each quatrain. The first line of stanza one is the second line of stanza two, third line of stanza three, and fourth line of stanza four. A quatern has eight syllables per line. It does not have to be iambic or follow a set rhyme
scheme.
S1 refrain is L1
S2 refrain is L2
S3 refrain is L3
S4 refrain is L4

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Ithica silver member
    July 23

    Edit | Reply
    You add class and romance to even the darkest of themes... Finally a vampire poem I actually love!!!


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    July 10

    Edit | Reply
    Oh and you can even do dark vampire writes wonderfully! I was completely drawn in by this!!

    I think I would follow if this was the bait!!

    Love it!


  • Dalaney gold member
    July 7

    Edit | Reply
    ...where are the AGENTS? Where is your zillion dollar book deal?? Amera, please please become famous so I can rub elbows with you, swig down Malidews, and say, "remember when?" Love, Lane


  • XxGoldenxXDawnxX
    July 5
    Edit | Reply
    Yes I liked the form of this poem. Very hypnotic written like that.

  • Poetry-and-rhyme
    July 4

    Edit | Reply
    sissss i misss your wounderous writes
    i miss all of you its good to be bakc again
    btw i adored reading thisss soo soo much
    ur talent stunns me


  • Skull Driver
    July 3
    Edit | Reply
    Darkly enchanting.
    Loved every bit!!!


  • PoeticLove
    July 2

    Edit | Reply

    Beautifully dark and the tiniest bit sensual

    This is just awesome, Amera, I loved all four stanzas, this was a little sad too, you really had a lot of different emotions in this, just wonderful. Good luck in the contest, and I think every line was perfect, just as you wanted it!!!love, D. x

  • Arzab
    July 2

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write, Amera. This had a wonderful flow and expressed lots of emotion. I liked the second stanza the best. It seemed to have a feeling of hope in it, like a hope that a love will last in life. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in the contest.


  • Pure Thought silver member
    July 1

    Edit | Reply

    How perfect is this

    I bare my neck
    offering the fluid of life
    Bite gently here and
    I willingly join you in the
    eternal undead world


  • Rovingone gold member
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    What a different approach to the macabre. You almost make it sound seductive. You are the master of classical form.


  • Faeryn
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    I am so sharing this with my vampire obsessed friends!This is awesome and totally relates to a book I am reading. Great poem; the last stanza is my favortie.
    Love,
    Tay


  • Kappa
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    The title says it all. This was another really good example of poetis style and grace. Such deep knowledge it sounds like too. I hope I reach this level some day.


  • PerVirtuous Allan gold member
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! This is unbelievable. I love how you write something so dark in such accessible language. This shows a deep feeling of love and terror. What a powerful combination. This form is beautiful, abd lends an historical air to the work, perfect for an ancient undead person. This should do extremely well in the contest. Great work. Have some undead bunnies.


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    well done as always

    the others said it all I will just follow with applause and be gone.

    Great job

    Passions


  • capricornpoet silver member
    July 1

    Edit | Reply

    lonely quatern

    I found this to have the color of loneliness...even if love was bequeathed; 1st line of the second quatrain,
    I think you meant .."And deeper love I could not hope to find"


  • cricketjeff gold member
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    Demonically dark, The refrain works well in this genre and as usual you weave it perfectly.
    There's evil afoot
    Have fun

1 - 16 of 16