I'm strong on the surface,
Not all the way through,
I've never been perfect,
But neither have you.
But if you love me,
You'll give me a chance,
I'm afraid of your feelings,
And love or romance.
So if it seems right,
And you want me with you,
Then tell me your thoughts,
And i'll tell you mine too.
I dreamed i was there,
You were holding me tight,
I knew it was perfect,
'Till the day of our fight.
I broke down in tears,
I could never fight back,
The blue skies were gone,
It all turned to black.
I'll leave you forever,
Forget all the hurt inside,
The pain that you give me,
In me; i will confide.
Author notes
The first paragraph is from a song close to me at the moment.
Comments
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...First, I'm going to send you a friend invite. (why? Because you're putting so much emotion that I'm familiar with into words.)
Now, as for my comment...Be careful with the LYRICS. I understand that you wanted to use that song to help with you poem, and honestly, it seemed quite perfect for your poem. But, still...some people might be a little..well..not okay with the fact that you actually used the lyrics. They would say to write something inspired from the lyrics instead of actually putting them in there.
But...I'm just trying to help you out =)
The product itself is amazingly well written, and I can really, really, REALLY understand where you're coming from. Keep up the good work.
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Really well written.
Hope all is going okay.
Talk to you soon.
x
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Brilliant flow. It worked so well. I enjoyed every second of it. So full of emotions. Hm, if you used something from somebody else, you have to tell more than just it was from a song, you have to give the artist more credit than that. But still, a wonderful job. I hope to read more from you.
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GrEaT pOeM!!I lUv Da FiRsT pArAgRaPh!!
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