Cold fingers tickling up my spine,
The tut-tut-tut of machine gun fire – my old bedtime.
Warm embracing darkness of distracted sleep
And the shocking light of mourning:
For country, for honour.
Preying on fragile life; hawks scan
Shot, dead, a faceless man
The lion had devoured the dove -
And I felt alive
For country, for honour.
The bugle blew, a shout in arms
A kiss to a photo, a rub of charms;
Insensible scarecrows with guns;
A head of straw and a stick up their back:
For country, for honour.
Running, shooting, praying, fear.
A death; stay austere
A friendly shot, a twinge, a pull
And I felt dead
For country, for honour
A man in a house of white;
Far removed from the fight,
For what does his country die for?
For nothing more than pride.
Smouldering sensation in my chest
Faith, not a bullet proof vest
For what do I die for?
For country, for honour.
A contest entry
- White Houses! by stylization.
450 points, ended July 13, 2008, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For New and Trophy Lacking by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended July 16, 2008, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Proudly Presenting: ROUND 1 by Walk-Free.
1000 points, ended August 31, 2008, 78 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold Winners by Merry Christmas.
650 points, ended January 14, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Angry Poems. Fuck You poetry straight from the heart. by Fibe Kill-DFW Punk-.
650 points, ended March 12, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I need a new beginning by lustyluther666.
700 points, ended May 18, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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This was a wanderful poem. Very insightful and filled with mystery. Good Luck and thanks for entering.
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i love it!
my favorite so far. xx
beautiful words!
great piece.
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an awesome right but for this contest it wasnt exactly what i wanted. It was slow burning so there was fire but it wasn't an explosion
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A wonderful poem about something that is so sad. War is so unneeded and yet it seems to be the one thing the world cannot avoid.
Thanks for entering. -
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wow!
I love the inetensity and the imagery in this poem. It flows well and conveys the message of war very well. The last stanzas was brilliant as it was impactful and amazing that you were willing to sacrifice for your country.
congrats on the gold and good luck in the contest!!
transit~
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wow!!!
this is a mindblowing poem... loved it from head to toe!!! absolutely beautiful! >.< keep pennig, congratz on the gold, much deserved!
~beauty of silence
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you definitely deserved the gold. great entry!
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This one definitely deserves a gold trophy!
Too much pride or "wrong" pride is no good for anyone at any time. i like how you repeated the line "For country, for honour". My favorite stanza is the 4th one. "A friendly shot [...] And I felt dead", amazingly chosen words. I still can't believe your only 14. This poem would be great whichever age you were, but I think it is unbelievable that a 14-year-old can write poems like this.
Little typo: First stanza, last line, "for hounour [honour]"
Keep on writing - I'm keeping on!
Jo
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BRAVO!!!
Vivid imagery, wonderful detailed with good rhyme and a nice flow. A very eloquent piece. ~mandie~ -
Bravo! you did a wonderful job!! I really love the flow of this write..The imagery was wonderfully vivid and very detailed.. And the rhyme was nice as well.. you did great!! I greatly enjoyed reading this!! I wish you the best of luck in the contest!!
Angel
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Wow. This is fantastic. I love the formatting at the top, with the indented "For country, for honour." I love the theme of the war in it, and the connection made with the white house is very well done. The poem in itself is very eloquent. The only suggestion I would like to make is to hit "enter" twice at the end of the poem, to put a space inbetween the last "For country, for hounor" and the line. It only makes it look more professional. The poem itself is flawless, though.
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Thanks. I havent written for some time and this was my first try in 5 months, lucky to know i still can!
Thanks for the suggestion; it does make it look better.
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excellent
The motions of war like situations and the sentiments that make for success or otherwise of wars is admirably brought on by you.I think you deserve a kudos for a definitely good write.These four lines deserve a special mention;
A man in a house of white;
Far removed from the fight,
For what does his country die for?
For nothing more than pride.
Please visit some of my poetry and make comments.
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