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Nature's spirit

Feeling free and running wild.
Just then i thought the heavens smiled.

The warm orange sun; my destination.
I don't look back to avoid complication.

I breath in deep and think of spring.
The wind past my ears: it seems to sing.

My new home is the world, I am freedom.
My new friend is the sky. I am air.
My new dreams are the stars. I am spirit.
My new heart is pure. I am rare.

A contest entry

what do you think? what is your first impression?

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Painted Nails
    January 6

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    OMG i love the last stanza!!! So beautiful. The rhyming flows very well (I can't do that for my life)
    Sydney

  • Virginia Logsdon
    July 14, 2008
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    Awesome!

    I truley enjoyed the freedom you have expressed in this lovely poem!


  • maralisa silver member
    July 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Feeling free and running wild.
    Just then i thought the heavens smiled.I breath in deep and think of spring.
    The wind past my ears: it seems to sing.
    My new home is the world, I am freedom.
    My new friend is the sky. I am air.
    My new dreams are the stars. I am spirit.
    My new heart is pure. I am rare.wow sis what a beautiful
    poem it touchs my heart and soul with love and spiratuality you have painted such beautiful images within your words your big sis maralisa


  • Shinigami-no-Rem
    July 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like how season-y this is. Also, how happy it is. Nice job! :3

  • Darknesslight
    July 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    That is really good.


  • sailor ptolema
    July 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    awwww~ this is precious

    a few suggestions;

    >>I'd cap the 'i' in the second line

    >>should be "I breathe"...need the 'e'

    >>think it would flow better : "The wind passes my ears, it seems to sing

    >> I think : "My new home is the world. I am freedom">> use a period there...it keeps that stanza cohesive...


    overall, I like it. I like that you really when beyond what was in the pic, and didn't talk about the dragon/dog in the picture directly.....

    "I am rare">>>.love this! it can be taken so many ways. As the wonders of individuality, a subtle reference to the fantasy creature and overall fantasy appeal of the picture. I'm quite impressed with you direction

    love the carefree atmosphere of your poem, its how I, too, felt about the piece, and I'm glad you brought that out

    bravo.

    ~g'luck~

    S.P.


  • sailor ptolema
    July 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    http://gunnerromantic.deviantart.com/art/dream-on-distant-shores-87109348

    have fun!! ~

1 - 7 of 7