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starving artists

 

 

 

 

We were starving artists

wishing for Paris & popularity; too broke

to do anything about it.

 

Our small, studio apartment was

enough for us then. If only I knew

what I know now.

 

If only I could find

where you went

that last day in August.

 

The night before we had loved hard

& I could see something else

in the back of them bedroom eyes.

 

Something dark & different. Often

I've wondered if it was the struggle

of trying to be famous. My loving you

was never enough.

 

It isn't fair. You know I wanted it

just as much as you; & I

didn't walk away. I didn't choose

to lose myself in the bottom

of bottles & drunken dreams.

 

I had no choice.

 

After you left I gave birth to your eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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  • adsaige gold member
    July 3

    Edit | Reply

    hm, there is something very haunting in
    this piece of poetry. not sure what it
    is about this piece that speaks to me
    so throughly.

    some parts though:
    I could see something else
    in the back of them bedroom eyes.
     
    could be edited.

    usual the "them" would work if it was "someone

    else" but since it's not, it doesn't read with the flow

    that you could have.

    and the last line is a bit confusing. usually i can

    see the metaphor behind the words, but honestly,

    i really saw you giving birth to a pair of blue eyes

    which wasn't the best image to be left with...

    perhaps a little edit?