Your last photograph, so complicated,
and it is an outright shame,
for I linger on those eyes dilated
with vitality's bright flame.
The warmth that iridescent smile ignites
can not be a mistake,
and yet on all those quiet, solemn nights
silence it will not brake!
How can that photograph have resonated
the brilliance of life's flame
so thoroughly to have complicated
my thoughts while in its frame?
Author notes
i used: photograph, complicated, eyes, ignite, linger, mistake, photgraph, and shame.
A contest entry
- Another Quickie? [I'm on a roll !!] by innocence jaded.xx.
300 points, ended July 1, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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beautiful!
thank you for sharing!
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I really like this poem using such a simple object and surrounding it with such emotional significance. Its those simple little things that can have the most effect on us.
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Thank you for reading.
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This to me is almost sad, but at the same time if looked in another way can be sorta happy. I thought it was a good piece. Keep up the lovely writes.
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This was a very sad poem for me...it was about the last pic. of my Ma...Christmas day...she looked so lovely, energetic and full of life...it just taunts me sometimes...This is one of the ones I may be reading, if I get enough nerve...
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I had a feeling it was that, but wasn't sure *hugs* I know how you feel hun. I just did that today when viewing my aunts wedding pictures. I just cried when I saw my pawpaw, the wedding had been 19 days before he died.
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Nice use of the word bank here. I really like the word play in the 8th line, brake instead of break.
You bring up some great questions that many people ask when a loved one passes away. Great job.
One minor critique, already mentioned: irridscant should be iridescent.
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Thank you
This was a difficult one for me....
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I can only imagine.. condolences.
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Well bless you heart...I do thank you!
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"Vital"
Your passion is wakened here as you implore the return
of this loved one's vitality. It is visible, but won't reignite. In entering the frame, maybe you sense its enduring afterglow. - Strong and touching in its sincerity.
(It may be "iridescent" smile ignites).
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My dear Momma's last photograph taunted and tortured me for so long; Christmas day it was and her looking brighter than the angel atop our tree; she was in fine form that day and feelin' better than she had in weeks. I found her in the afternoon on the 30th. It took a long while before I could look at that photograph and just see the beauty in it, in her. Thank you for so kindly commenting on this piece.
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bravo
An excellent and most deftly done poem! Wonderfully woven throughout... I loved it, loved it! bravo... bravo... bravo...
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thank you; i spent a bit of time on this one.
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This as the feel of a beautiful pensive longing caught forever in that moment of memory ... beautifully done
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well, i suppose pensiveness does occur when some unknowing contest runner gets a person's mind started on thoughts pent up but never written down. and yes, longing is exactly the emotion.
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Whoaaa, haha this is just mind-boggling. I was captivated from the very first line; your words just allure the reader to want to read more. Amazing job with the word bank. Thanks for entering & best of luck ! ♥
*finalisttt!*
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