I close my eyes and listen
to silence’s sounds I can’t hear
the blinding weight
of unspoken meaning,
rises and falls in dusty mists
as its own songs clear at last, thrilling
beneath echoing coffered ceilings
and groaning arches trapped
between inside’s knowing
and outside’s grasp
into the slowing
steady steps
of I see
the slim shade of my mind
slides along trust’s branchs
and unknown’s deep reaches
calling up words to view
their own full moon
I close my eyes and listen
to silence’s sounds I can’t hear
Author notes
Picture prompt: http://porcelainveins.deviantart.com/art/mon-petit-sacrifice-70310940
A contest entry
- BIG Points picture semi-quickie!!!! COME SEE! by sailor ptolema.
1700 points, ended July 7, 2008, 29 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Ok, because I am pressed for time, I won't be able to leave as long a comment as I'd like but, I LOVED THIS!!!
You did So very well with the photo. I love that the first and last stanza re the same...it really adds to the rhythm of the piece and leaves the reader pondering these sounds that she can't hear....they just echo..
the blinding weight
of unspoken meaning,
rises and falls in dusty mists
as its own songs clear at last, thrilling
beneath echoing coffered ceilings">>>>this is really cool. I love this part
of the stanza, it feels like there is so much angst...and it's just building. I also really like the way this whole stanza is formed.
You've done really well.
thank you for entering and g'luck!
S.P.~
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Sorry for not responding to your comments, it's something I need to work on!
S.P. - Thanks so much for your kind encouraging words and incisive comments. I'm very pleased that you enjoyed the read... you finding several things to commend. You are an excellent judge, an enthusiastic and talented poet and at the very least deserve to hear that more often... the fact that you had so many entries attests to that... you are held in the highest regard. It's a shame that this hasn't been expressed more fully to you.
Marlene
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Ooooooooooooooh~
Excellent take on the prompt and Love how You took this for I was inhaling Your words and felt as if there hearing- basically from all four directions but for some reason more focused in the South quadrant
It may sound strange but I was feeling like pressure from the outside moving inward as if to close me in~
and when I pushed my hands outward- It was like I was pushing through latex- if that makes any sense
Powerful images
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in the contest Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
and much love & light~ Desire~*~
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Wow, what a beautiful picture... can't wait to see what you come up with!!
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