may I come in?
into this paradise?
we can catch the breathy sounds
and place them into sandy pockets,
soar across the menthol
as we plant our feet
and make the moment ours
the rolling clouds
and fading sky
will ever be reflecting
in your revealing eyes
we can learn to bury
and learn to land,
learn to sleep deep within the sand,
together we can learn
how to escape
and we can go together
to this liberating place
you can teach me how to fly,
I can teach you how to be carried,
carried upon the aria of the sea,
changing like the water,
changing like me
we can let the wind carry us,
feel the air beneath new wings,
I can steady you
and you can steady me
A contest entry
- BIG Points picture semi-quickie!!!! COME SEE! by sailor ptolema.
1700 points, ended July 7, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
So how was it?
Comments
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aww, this is divine
I LOVED
"we can catch the breathy sounds
and place them into sandy pockets,">>> wonderful auditory & visual
imagery with these lines!!! , trying to catch the sounds of the ocean...such a wonderful concept!
"you can teach me how to fly,
I can teach you how to be carried,
carried upon the aria of the sea,
changing like the water,
changing like me">>>>>>>>>this was wonderful as well!
I love where you took the feather in the photo!...being carried by the melody of the sea.....sounds divine! I'd love to do that
this is soft, ethereal, and endearing. A personal approach to the picture.
You've done a great job!
>>I also love the lack of capping, and periods..it lets the piece fly!!
g'luck!
S.P. 
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Wow, this is very good! Loved these lines --
"we can learn to bury
and learn to land,
learn to sleep deep within the sand,"
Just the whole feel of togetherness is so strong here, becoming one
Very beautiful write Very best of luck!
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Thank you!
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