He doesn't notice
the bricks are buckled
the modern cottages
or passers by.
He's an imprint left
from long ago
forever stained in sepia.
Author notes
I have edited a few times, I had this to follow what I posted up above, but I rather like it in the shortened version...
Seeking yet the perfect shot
to bring glory and riches
from a king
he so loyally served.
He never knew
another sought the same
with a heart more devious
he fell on this spot
while carefully taking aim.
picture prompt: http://tranki-zieleniack.deviantart.com/art/Archer-24401086
A contest entry
- BIG Points picture semi-quickie!!!! COME SEE! by sailor ptolema.
1700 points, ended July 7, 2008, 29 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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you've got me hooked. i can see the handprint when i close my eyes just fabulous
wow!!!!
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Ah, I love this. I was quite curious to see what you would do with this prompt
And you did not let me down. I thought it was a powerful shot, and you delivered a powerful poem
He doesn't notice
the bricks are buckled>>>>"buckled'>>>geepers, great, great word!
the modern cottages
or passers by.
>>>>>>this is a create stanza, I feel that it should be read in a low, calm, steady voice
It makes it seem like his is invisible, like the past is going on in the future....such a haunting thought!
He's an imprint left>>>Imprint" now, that is a great word, and I love how you use it here
from long ago
forever stained in sepia.>>>>forever stained, love that. It's highly permanent, more so than if you
just used 'forever in sepia'....It's a physical permanence, rather than a metaphysical permanence, like living in someone's mind
I also loved the inclusion of a possible addition to the poem, but agree that I like it with the shortened version
brevity, that leaves a long, lasting impression on the reader.
Thank you for entering , and G'luck!!
Sailor Ptolema 
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wow, that photo looks like where we are. I had the image of an old man sitting out in front of a country store that's been closed down across the street from a big department store when I was reading it.
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Ahhh - Imprints! I love the image, and message Best of luck
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whos he shooting at. the bow is a very stealth weopon, as there is no sound that goes bang, or even air gushing. Never under estimate the Archer. great take, perfect shot.
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