Music is playing
There's no use in thinking
Standing on the ledge
I look out over the world
Don't jump, they all say
Give it another day
Who knows, maybe life will look up
Don't jump
The police are standing below
Waiting for me to take my leave
Just another tragic soul
Lost along the way
So soft and so cool on the roof
Who knew it would end like this
I'm certain, yet they say
Don't jump
A creak of the door, my name is called
I cover my ears with my hands
He runs onto the rooftop
Begging me to come down
They're deceiving you
Of that, he thought he knew
Maybe he was right, so he says
Don't jump
I turn my head to the city lights
So distant, yet so close
I grasp the cold night air
Still, he stares
He screams at me,
Trying to make me see reason
But I'm too far away, he ends with a plea
Don't jump
Taking my hand, he whispers
Soundless nothings into my ear
Reminding me of all the memories
I tried to forget
Climbing next to me,
We look over the city together
A tear rolls down his face, and he says
'If everything can't stop this...'
'I'll jump for you.'
Author notes
Song is based on Don't Jump by Tokio Hotel. My friend got it stuck in my head, so I thought it would be perfect. Reviews appreciated, because it's alot longer than what I would normally write. Edit : I just found out that for the contest I was writing this for, it couldn't be a different song. Whoops...can you still keep me in? (directed at judge)
A contest entry
- Song Inspired Contest! by Sweet Intoxication.
700 points, ended July 2, 2008, 3 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotions by satan-.
950 points, ended July 14, 2008, 65 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Oh wow, your poem has pretty much seeped into my brain. I remember the days when I've felt so shitty, that I pretty much think of ways to die (I'm a screwed up kid) Usually, they involve a tall building and falling. This poem, brought the exact image I've had in mind, and put it perfectly into words. I've been trying to transfer it into a poem, but I dont think i could do any better than what you've done. It's beautiful, thanks for entering!
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Sure, I'll keep you in. I got so few entries that I'm not going to worry about it.
This is simple but quite lovely. I love the poignant end line and you deliver it in a way that doesn't seem cliche. So good job with that.
I do like the repetition of "don't jump", I think that was a smart choice. I like the images you do have: the rooftop, the police, covering your ears with your hands, etc. But I think if you elaborated on these images a little more, it would make the poem even stronger.
Great job!
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Oh! That must be a very sad song
It takes real love to trade your life for someone else. Elegant poetry.
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