a cigarette burns
a cigarette burns
a cigarette burns
down to the tab
a cigarette burns
stood on its end
floorboards bisect
the mayhem around
of a cigarette
burning
down to the tab
stood on its
end.
A contest entry
- prewrites (with clause) by Melissa Gayle.
400 points, ended July 12, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I like this a lot.
It's very different.
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I read your comments as well -
but I have to be honest, this one of yours doesn't do much for me.
I can feel the tedium with the repetition and get the emotion portrayed but I have seen some pieces of yours that are stellar -
this one for me, is just alright -
very lax like, in its repeated phrases and images
and raw as can be, good piece. -
this is alright. not like what i read from you before ... you should think about reposting what you wrote before you disappeared for the first tinme... you know right before we thought you were dead...lol.
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This is very interesting. The repetitions are prophetic. Almost as if a mechanical clicking sound can be heard in the distance. And such a unique take on a cigarette. Your stuff is so you. This is one of those memory poems. Those little bits you read that effect and change poetry in some way.
;
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wonderfully raw. thrilled youre back.
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