Anxiously eyeing the clock
I close my eyes
And think of you,
As your beautiful face spreads across my mind
With your heart showing me my way
And love itself came and kissed me.
I remember all the nights
We could talk about anything
And I wrote music by the moon
And love songs by the sun.
In short, without your presence
Your absence fans my love
As I wait for you like a lonely house
Wanting you to live inside me.
I cannot give up your love,
Not without dying—
Until then my windows ache.
Because without you … I am lost.
A contest entry
- PASSION by Whispering Wind.
500 points, ended July 15, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Beautifully Written!
Your passions run deep in this write, and you have related very well to the prompt given. I especially am touched by the last two stanzas, as I love the wording you have chosen here. Nice write, and I wish you the best in the contest. Blessings, Patty
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Very Good
Your word choice is good and the message sent is strong and emotional. Very suggestive and imaginative use of words and skillfully constructed. This is very deep and seeks meaning in feelings rather than words. It flows well and says more than the weight of any single word, relaying meaning in the sum of their collective strength.
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LOVE THIS!!!
hey, this one is very interesting for the fact that the use of simple words are just simply extraordinary captivating...
keep on writing!!
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A lovely sentimental piece and so nicely structured too.
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nice poem aching..I liked the romance in it sweet dear..keep that pen flowing dear
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*whistles*
wow hon. this is BEAUTIFUL! Gave me chills down my spine. Well done my poetic friend. One of your finest.
Lovingly,
Mylee -
Awesome
You wrote in such a tender loving voice. I enjoyed this very much. Your love shines through in every word and every line. Good job my friend. Pen on...
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BREATH TAKING
your tender words of deep love and affection warm the readers heart and pulls them closer as each line seems to bring a softer emotion...thank you so much for sharing such beauty with me and for entering
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