everyone is ugly
so inadequate
pillars of men
shaken and shattered
all ego is gone
confidence in tatters
I watch the green hills
they shoot through the mist
past the sky seen from afar
I grab the mountain in my fist
I can say I came and saw
A majesty matched only by my awe
There's a long an winding road
up the mountain we all ride slow
built of all the men you know
who lost themselves so long ago
they've been petrefied in stone
A contest entry
- Make me feel it by Dovina.
450 points, ended July 1, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter by Lj-.
300 points, ended July 11, 2008, 29 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites by aeolia.
400 points, ended October 26, 2008, 128 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Could use some punctuation and refinement (especially with flow/metre) in general, but I admire the concept.
-
There is a sense of pride in this. But it makes you remember that people worked so hard that they put blood sweat and tears into what they did, and in some cases they lost their life. It's a moving piece. thanks for your entry
Adding your comment:
