Your arm a pale outline
of skin against the night
Oh, love light as air!
~ JoyBeingNow
Sublime Romance
beyond compare
Sheer breathless Light!
~ Maatkara
Between two clouds: Haiku moon
~ JoyBeingNow
Author notes
♥
These were written (Oct '03) on another online forum, in the sequence as posted,
(mine in spontaneous response to the first).
NOTE: These are not traditional haiku (closer to tanka in poetic subjectivity)
Written October 30th, 2003
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
This was a very good collab together. I love your piece about the romance in it...and then how it breaks down to the end about the two clouds...hmm...thought provoking.
Kari -
Thank you, Charishma!
Appreciate your comment.
You know that capitalization is used for proper nouns and seasons. Did you not read my author note on that subject on my ku, 'Luna', (which you have read and commented on before)? That's where I've explained the incongruity of that presumed "rule". allpoetry.com/Poem/635379
~G
-
Well captured Zen moment!
Wow! Awesome haiku! I love them all and they all have excellent imagery. The last one on "Haiku moon" in one single line{like the original style} is excellent work by Taigaku. Your haiku is so beautiful in it's Karumi {lightness}. I enjoyed the haiku and the beautiful picture as well. The only thing is about the capitalisation - in haiku there are no capitals. Rest is perfect and just so etheral and nice. Brilliant work, Gennelle! -
Hmmm, why is that...cynicism, or too cliche? That's the reason for the qualifier, 'sublime', plus capitalizing 'Romance'.
~ G
-
not sure i like the connotation of moon and romance but weel scribit
-
Thank you, Gregg As I mentioned in my notes, it was not even deliberate or planned, I was simply inspired by the first one to write mine. Taigaku then wrote the last. I asked him if I could post them together here, that was it.
~ G
-
Now this is interesting. A Haiku collaboration. I especially like that the Haiku trilogy ends on a modern Haiku freezing the whole poem as a unit. Very well done. Gregg
-
sublime yes indeed ... some wonderful imagery frozen in time.
-
Excellent !!!!
How did I miss this one?? Absoluetly wonderful and prue ..I agree with unbound beauty and this is it.. -
Absolutely stunning!
Mari
-
Wonderful!!!!
-
Excellent
Hi Ma'at-ka-ra:
I have to admit that Taigaku's visual effect is great for so few words in his work. I do apprecite the style he put in these pieces. Please pass on my appreciation for sharing these with us. Bill -
"Format" is of the least concern in genuinely spontaneous Haiku. Those familiar with it, try to capture the 'moment'.
-
good job. not the greatest format but overall i liked it.
-
Excellent
Hi Maatkara:
Beautiful verse! I have never seen a 4-4-4 Haiku before. I will say this, you get your point across very well with this format thought. Thanks. Bill
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
3 old applause
