I love you but I hate you

When you walked through my door, I instantly fell in love
The perfect smile,the most amazing eyes,and the kind words
I knew this was defiantly a gift from above
The way I fell for you was so absurd.

I knew we moved too fast with our relationship
but how was I to slow it down?
I tried so hard not to make a slip
when you hurt me I didn't even frown.

I knew this couldn't be healthy for us
but I didn't want you to go
After a while all we did was fuss
my feelings for you I guess I didn't show.

The truth is now that your gone
the memories still keep flooding my head
I know what you did was wrong
but leaving you was something I dread.

It pains me so much to see you with another
so happy,so joyous,why couldn't it be me?
Did it scare you to know I was going to be a mother?
That still didn't give you the right to leave.

( Gosh Trey all I ever wanted was for you to love me as much as I love you. I tried to show you how much I loved you but maybe I showed you in the wrong ways,I'm truly sorry but that's the way I was taught, I was angry all the time but it was never directed towards you. You could have given me some time to sort through things but no,you left me and went to her, i despise her, she makes it all sound so great, I have to sit there and view pictures of you two on Myspace showing just how madly in love you guys are. I seen the one with her you have and your wearing the shirt I got you, how could you disrespect me so much? I want to hate you so bad but your in my dreams,in my thoughts,everywhere. Now that your brother wants to start seeing me I know this is going to be so hard on me. I like him but I fell for you,hard. I would give you this poem and this little note, but would it really make a difference? Would it change anything? I have tried so many things to clear you from my mind but none of it seems to help. I can't even sit there and hear people talk shit about you because I feel as if I should stand up for you. Would you do the same for me? Will you ever love me as much as I have loved you? I think not, I wish this pain would go away, I mean it's been what almost 4 months since we broke up and almost 3 months since the last time we talked but yet I still love you with everything I have. I just wish you would see that. I know she could never love you as much as I could, I know she is beautiful but does she really love you or is she with you to make her look even better? Trey I would say this all to you but I know there is a possibility that you won't even care and that will hurt so much more then not giving you this and not talking to you. I love you and we were going to have a kid but you had me under so much stress I lost him. You didn't care anyways you said you were too young when you found out,i just wish you could have something that precious be ripped from you and you have so many emotions going through you. I should have never slept with you, I knew it was a mistake but none of that could be erased,you get to be happy and live your life as you please and I get to living, knowing, that we had something great and because of us fighting ALL the time, he is gone. It may not mean much to you but it hurts so much for me to see pictures of babies and think wow I could have had one. I love you but I hate you.