childish

the feeling that is rising
from horrors long since past
burning blood runs through my veins
the scars will ever last..

Author notes

when i feel insecure, i tend to get childish.
when i get childish, and i decide to go through his inbox.
he cheated so long ago... and before him, i was cheated on over and over again..
perhaps this is why i am so childish?
or am i headed in the right direction, but he's one step ahead of me?
i just wish that i could know for sure..
i wish that i could stop this pain that comes every time i sit and think about it.
i wish that it would just get better, like everyone says it will..
but i still remember, clear as my day's memories, the way he looked at me.
the words he said to me..
the deep thrashing in my stomach..
i remember when he cried and said, "forgive me."
and i did.
i never though it would hurt this bad so long afterwards..