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La belle de jour

La belle de jour

whose pace is un peu de trop

I pick from the city hubbub

the click of your Prada heels

and feel the frisson prickle my scalp

the breeze flick a lock of my hair

over my eyes and lick

the pages of my Figaro

 

La belle de l’avenue

whose approach is the fall

of an unexpected evening

I hear the whisper of your nylons

as you slip into the seat I saved

close

not too close

but enough for stray electrons

to jump the gap

or for a little shift in time

 

La belle des Boulevards

whose almond fingernail

traces a map of the Seine

on the sleeve of my blouson

and at whose murmured commande

a silent garçon

sidles à la table

bearing deux verres de Vermouth

 

… how you gently pushed

the door of my life ajar

and shadowed in

slid your arm

around

my lonely waist

and stayed

 

 

Author notes

insinuate

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • Keith
    July 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like it a lot. Very elegant. Well done.

  • Vera Rich
    July 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting and evocative... But i must issue my usual warning about using the names of firms - in this case Prada. Some do NOT like to be mentioned in poems - even in a complimentary manner. (We were very nearly sued over this once... though we had permission from the UK subsidiary... But head office in the USA were still furious).

    I shall try to get the competition judged by Friday - but I am not feeling very well today, so may not be able to manage it...

    But PLEASE - if you want bonus points wait until the results are announced before commenting on other people's work.

    And - do remember to clear your "Author's Note" box. I think the word "insinuate" was left over from a previous competition.


  • marlene47 silver member
    July 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the whole slow move of these two coming together. Some great details along the way - clicking heels, the shiver of excitement, the
    whispering nylons, stray electrons playing with time and space, the stroking fingernail, the call to give their order, the opening door and the arm sliding around a lonely waist. Congratulations on the silver.
    Marlene


  • Lyndon gold member
    July 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Dear Mairi,

    This poem is superb.
    Your 'Daylily' ironically insinuates the wearer of the sexy shoes as really La Belle-de-nuit!
    The use of French is truly justified by the jocose sexual overtones. 'Le Figaro' flapping in the breeze with your curls suggests a sporty car, perhaps rouge?
    I had to laugh at the truth of the static electricity with nylon on plastic seating.
    You have spoken as a man won by a woman who becomes one for me, anyway!
    The concluding, extended metaphor is tender.
    As far as insinuation goes, this poem is, well, magnifique!SmileSmileSmile

    I have fallen in lovewith the poem, I think! Embarassed

    • Mairi bheag gold member
      July 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Och, ye daft wee seamer! And in case you hadn't noticed, women can fall in love with women too - and I should know!

      Thanks for the visit and the praise.


  • Dalaney gold member
    July 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I am so honored to have such quality work entered into one of my contests. You are outstanding. Love, Lane


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      July 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Lane, I don't often enter contests these days, but I was glad to enter yours.


  • breedluv gold member
    July 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, this is subtle, mysterious, and.......beautiful


  • PerVirtuous
    July 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Not bad.


  • Amera gold member
    June 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It sounds like she really pulls your trigger. Wonderful, passionate and sensual.

    Love,
    Amera♥

  • Bad Bill
    June 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A heady brew of sensual air,
    sophistication and Gallic flair.

    Nice one,
    Bill


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    June 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Good stuff.

    ... pushing aside the door of a life ...

    ... a fingernail tracing a map on a sleeve ...

    Great ideas that would make me love this piece even if it wasn't so pure, balanced and alive.

    Thanks for this.


  • Malabu
    June 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love it...simply


  • cricketjeff gold member
    June 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Authentically Mairi! I am now going to read part two! A lovely start to Monday, and I hate Mondays at the moment.

1 - 21 of 21