Lead me
on the path
you tread
and when one teaches
two will learn
A contest entry
- Quickie - PIF- 15 poets x 15 words by Cannonsfire.
1750 points, ended June 30, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Oh what a lovely dedication to Sol..I am sure he loved it..Wonderful job Lucy for few words
Ruby
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Thank you Ruby
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how could you not win with something as well stated as this lol
kudos :]
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Deep. I like this a lot. Says so much in so little words. Keep writing. Good luck in the contest.
Wayne Leon
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Gosh...I love this, I really do, but I'm gonna ask...would it be a tiny bit tighter if you changed it to read thus: 'Lead me on the path you tread, and when one teaches two will learn'...seems a bit more hand holding this way rather than pulling along...(sorry..I seem to be off in the corner here by myself on this one.. ...A tender dedication for a wonderful teacher...I can feel the love as does everyone else commenting here. Peace always, Rhonda
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Oh, you're right! I completely see your point and I like it
But then it wouldn't be enough words...mind you, contest is over now so it matters not. I might play with that later, see if I can do something to still keep my shape that I like. I do like the sound of your suggestion better.
Lol, Sol and I are just discussing this as I type...so many reasons yours is better...more hand holding, sounds better off the tongue, 'tread' is more like in the present as opposed to already 'trod'
Thanks heaps! I'm going to play with that later...and thank you as always for your lovely comments.
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How very wise!! That is so true... two will learn as we always give and take from each other no matter if one is the 'teacher'...
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Fabulous hun! I really like this write. "Lead me
on the path you have trodden and when one teaches two will learn" Such a refreshing piece on both sides, being able to teach others and still have a rewarding feeling. Brilliant! Best of luck in your contest!♥
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Just love.
X X X
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stunning.. yes
and he is a good teacher... indeed
beautifully done
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This is fantastic work. I'm not in a commenting mood. I've been editing my recent post and I just have not a lot to say at the moment. For some reason I tend to shoot my wad so to speak sometimes on my own work and then I'm left with peanuts for comments...LOL. What I can tell you is that critically I don't think anything bothers me. The poetry is concise and well rounded. There is just enough here to make it all work.
I love your stuff.
Yes I do.
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Whoa!
Good use of words with so little and so much! Wonderful little piece! Please keep it up, this penning of poetry! It means a lot!
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So true this, both learn from each other. C
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I really enjoyed reading this.
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oh!!! oHH!!
LOVE THIS !!!
~all my best!!
~
S.P.
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