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Dangerous Curves

Revving up the engine,
pumping that pedal.
The feeling so alive,
racing down that mountain.

Akina, king of courses,
hear you calling,
challenging me once again.
I am ready for you.

No surprises this time.
Drifting the corners,
gliding into gear,
cutting curves, cruising.

Only one winner
and one loser.
A game of cat and mouse,
finish line within my grasp.

Author notes

Anime

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11
  • whatami
    July 23

    Edit | Reply
    Nice take on the subject. I thought we were on a roller coaster. Sorreh I misunderstood
    Neat ending.
    Also sorry to see you go. Bye :[


  • Frozentearz gold member
    July 23

    Edit | Reply
    Frist of all I would like to thank you for being apart of our tour, and I am very sorry to see you go
    I will have to visit your page and keep up with your work.
    Blessings.
    Frozentearz

  • Errant Panther gold member
    July 22

    Edit | Reply
    good visuals that move along at a fast pace, obviously the intent of the piece. I was just left with a feeling this finished rather abruptly and could have been filled out with more detail.

    • Lady Altheia
      July 22
      Edit | Reply
      well if you are racing down a mountain, sometimes you come to an abrupt end.

      • Errant Panther gold member
        July 23
        Edit | Reply
        I understand that, I meant the detail in the scene and about the central character could have been expanded.
  • nature mithya
    July 19

    Edit | Reply

    A racer and a fighter.

    This is a write from the heart of a racer and a fighter who does not want to face defeat.
    I see the poem in form with active words.
    Congrats friend you do well.


  • jasminerose gold member
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    You have taken us along on this dangerous ride with your vivid imagery and wonderful expression of excitement!!!
    Well done!!
    I wish you all the best in this round!
    Jasminerose


  • Polaja
    July 15

    Edit | Reply
    Is this about Initial D? That's what I thought of while I was reading this - very nicely done, the second last stanza is by far my favorite - the alliteration is very effective good luck in the contest!

    Keep writing

    Polly


  • aboomer silver member
    July 14

    Edit | Reply
    I know nothing about anime, but you paint a good picture with these words - I can picture this very well. I love the last 2 lines in this -goes so well for the ending.
    best wishes


  • Elfin silver member
    July 4

    Edit | Reply
    Once again I have to admit to not knowing anything about anime so unfrotunately some of the content is lost to me, otherwise, I do like this poem and understand that the main character in this piece is a warrior. Well done and good luck in the contest. Val


  • grannyeri gold member
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    Quite the race you write about in these lines; good flow, and can be very metaphoric as well. Wishing you well in this contest.

1 - 11 of 11